Allergies

Allergy season is back and I've sooo been looking forward to it. If you suffer from allergies, raise your hand. OK, put your hand down and wipe your nose. Did you sense my bit of sarcasm in the first sentence? That's hard to express in just words. If I'm sarcastic, I want to make sure everybody knows! Can you tell I've taken allergy medication? Do my words look jittery? This is a test of my family's love for me when I'm under the influence of the little blue evil allergy pill. I'm totally aware of my evil doppleganger and find myself mad at nothing even when nobody's around. I know they say you're not supposed to consume alcohol while on medication, but I may make an exception. I promise I won't operate heavy equipment soon after.

Questions of the universe

Why is it that water out of the bathroom faucet always seems colder than water out of the kitchen faucet? I've asked a plumber this question and he just laughed at me. Then he stood there for a second pondering the question, and said "I don't know, that's a good question". I think I know the answer to this next question. When my wife makes me a sandwich, it always tastes better than if I had made it myself. I can use the exact same ingredients but hers is inevitably better. I think when I'm making one for myself it's just to fill a void. When she makes it for me, I think it's made with love. That's all I got. OK, last one. What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? Talk about this one during happy hour or over the dinner table tonight and see what you come up with. Please be careful how you answer.

Coffee

I know tea is the most consumed beverage in the world, but in my world it's coffee! Love the hot quaff. I was recently talking to someone who was taking a poll on coffee drinkers. First, keep in mind, this is an unofficial poll conducted by the individual only, and is not necessarily the opinion and views of this blog. Had to put that in there when you're dealing with a touchy subject such as a cup of joe, to keep the lawyers off my back. Back to the poll. He asked coffee drinkers if they used cream and/or sugar, or if they drank it black. The next question was whether they were raised in the country or in a city. He hasn't kept a count (I told you it was unofficial), but he finds more people who drink their coffee black, were raised in a rural community. This is the opposite of what you would think, because who has convenient access to fresh cream? Wouldn't it be the farmers? Just when you think you know everything.

Consider this a curse!

OK, here's another idiom to confuse your life a little more. How about "rule of thumb"? I looked up a definition, here's what I came up with:

A rule of thumb is a principle with broad application that is not intended to be strictly accurate or reliable for every situation. It is an easily learned and easily applied procedure for approximately calculating or recalling some value, or for making some determination. 

So, extremely vague, but the boundaries are a little clearer than the last frustrating idiom I blogged about. Question though. Whose thumb would you consider using to establish a rule? I would think an adult's thumb first of all, because children should not make rule's for adults unless you're playing a child's game (which are ALWAYS subject to change in the middle of the game to benefit the child ONLY). And can a thumb act alone in making rules? The thumbs on my hands are practically useless unless a finger or two assist. You could say "they're all thumbs". OMG get me off this merry go round before I get sick! 

A Good Laugh

Laughing is contagious. Ever laugh so hard you almost peed or milk came out of your nose? Laugh so hard you have a pain in your ribcage and your face hurts from smiling? Usually those moments you remember vividly and make for funny stories later. I've got a good one for ya'. A guy I used to work with, you could swear he was homeless living in a cardboard box somewhere under a bridge. But he wasn't. In fact he had a beautiful home with a wonderfully landscaped yard. He just didn't spend much time in personal matters. Anyway, one day he had to go back to a new house he had worked on previously and do some touch up work. The homeowner asked him if he could please remove his shoes since their carpet was off white and only 3 months old. He obliged. He removed the first shoe to reveal all of his toes sticking out of the end of his sock. It gets better. He removed the second shoe and he only had a sock band tucked into his shoe! He went about his work and when finished, put his shoes back on and took the time to tuck the sock band back into the shoe. I guess at this point you've already gone through the humility so what's the difference. Regardless, funny story! Time to go clean the mess under the desk now. TTFN (ta ta for now).

Vacation

Planning a short vacation over Memorial weekend. Heading out to Manitou Springs, CO. It's a fun little town at the foothills of Pike's Peak, right next door to Garden of the Gods. It's like stepping back in time to the 60's & 70's. Just about every store is run by either an old hippie or a new age hippie or somebody with an unusual amount of quirkiness. The stores are unique also. You're going to look a long time for a Gap, Old Navy, Borders, Starbucks, or a Burger King. You actually have to leave the town to find these stores. I think my favorite store was The Dulcimer Shop. All handmade musical instruments by the former mayor. When you meet this guy, he's the anti George Bush. Last time I saw him, he was wearing clogs, wool socks, a kilt, a tye dyed t-shirt, and could have doubled for Jerry Garcia. There is also an arcade there thats been in existence for I don't know how many years. It's only open for part of the season because 50% of it's outdoors. There are quite a few antique games that only cost from a penny to a dime to play, and then there's the horse racing! It's a kicked up version of ski ball and your horse moves down the track the more points you rack up. You're playing against probably nine other people and you win tickets to redeem for prizes. Did I mention it's only 25 cents to play? Of course, I go because my kids love it so much. (yeah, right). Even the smell of the town draws you in. Fresh roasted coffee and the smell of patchouli. Brings out the hippie in you, and we all know I have a few hippie tendencies anyway. Time to dig out the flip flops, hear I come Manitou!

Man Cave

I know a few men who, instead of going thru a mid life crisis and leaving their wives for younger women, have invested money in their homes to transform part of it into their man cave. Women are welcome, but there are certain unwritten rules that have to be acknowledged by every patron. Burping, flatulents, feet on furniture, these things are not only acceptable but expected. One man cave I know of makes women feel very uncomfortable when you walk into the bathroom there is only a urinal - no toilet! Might as well put a sign on the door that says " No Girls Allowed - Welcome to the He-man Woman Haters Club"! I must say, as I am writing this, I'm a bit envious of those who have the room to do this in their home. My house is too small and we've used every last inch. I might be able to convert a closet, but how do you get a 54" big screen into a closet, and then invite buddies over? My solution was to move to the outdoors. I've built a kickin' deck with an equally impressive patio. Kind of has that whole urban California feel to it. And I think I've solved the urinal solution. Take a look at this! www.urilift.com Cheers!