A Warm Embrace

"Brothers don't shake hands, brothers gotta hug". I know we should welcome a hug, but, I hate to admit, I'm a little selective as to who gets a squeeze from me. Occasionally, it's OK to hug a guy, maybe someone you haven't seen for a long time, but the hug should be measured in nano seconds, and hands should be placed well above the equator. I can't express enough how important these rules of engagement are. I'm not homophobic, everyone needs a hug, or to give a hug now and then. It has more to do with personal space. For a very brief moment, you've had to let your force shield down, and welcomed someone into your personal atmosphere. That person needs to be considerate, and not take liberties with your vulnerability. Now, if it's someone of the opposite sex, and as long as both parties want the affection, it's OK to embrace longer than the specified time restraint. If you expect to hug or be hugged on a regular basis, there needs to be attention given to personal hygiene. If you happen to find yourself less than fresh, either a handshake, along with a disclaimer about being sweaty, should be submitted prior to hugging. If the other party is alright with that situation, then the rules stated above apply. Special exceptions should be made regarding children under the age of 9, grandparents, and bears. You want your kids to hug you to reinforce the fact that you love them. Grandparents, pretty much, just seem to be above the law, and break all the rules when hugging. It may also involve a kiss, or multiple kisses, followed by a pinch on the cheek. Totally unacceptable for the rest of the population. Now that we've covered the rules for embracing, come give me a big man hug to start your day off a little skeezed out!

Turned 40

No, not me. That day has come and gone. I guess the internet turns 40 this year. So, 1969? was the first computer network. Twenty years later, the world wide web was launched. It's just amazing how far behind I've fallen, trying to keep up with technology. I'm surprised I still exist! My feelings concerning technology are not too different from Homer Simpson, when he said, "The internet? Is that thing still around?". I'm surprised it hasn't been replaced by newer technology by now. I have no clue what could replace such a resource as the internet, but for something in the field of technology to have a 40 year run is quite an accomplishment. This is obviously one of those subjects I know very little about, and feel quite uncomfortable talking about, because everyone who reads this knows more about the internet than I do. I wish it were something that interested me more, then I would be more inclined to research it. I guess it's best to leave the research and development to those who would be considered experts in the field, and I'll just sit back and wait until it becomes commonplace, and reap the benefits..... 20 years behind everyone else:)

Arachnophobia

Seems everyone is afraid of something. Fear is a learned experience. At one time in your life, you would have had a bad experience, or what seemed a bad experience in your mind, to develop a fear. Learned that in Psychology 101:) Yes, one of the few times I paid attention in school. Well, my family is no different. We each have our phobias. My oldest daughter is terrified of spiders. Maybe I shouldn't have let her watch Arachnophobia at such a young age. So, almost on a weekly basis, I'm called to a certain part of the house to save her from the man-eating spider. A couple of days ago, we had a rather large spider in our laundry room. It's probably the largest I've seen inside of our house. I walked into our laundry room to get either beer from the fridge, or meat from the freezer, and there stood the eight legged terrorist in the middle of the floor. He just stood there, unmovable, as if we were two gunfighters meeting in the middle of the street for the final gunfight. So I put on my Clint Eastwood face and spurs. I could hear that eerie gunfighter music and the crack of a bullwhip in the background. I wasn't about to let a spider stand between me and a cold one, so it didn't take long for me to realize, I was much bigger than he was, and I made my move. Long story short, I won the showdown. But, this spider was large enough, when I stepped on him, he actually made a crunching sound, yes, just like in the movies! I don't really fear spiders. Of course, I've never been face to face with a tarantula that wasn't on the other side of a piece of glass. Not sure what I would do in that situation. The one fear I am blessed with is keraunophobia. That would be the fear of lightning. Unlike spiders, I do not have much control over my environment during a lightning storm. So while the sky outside is igniting with protons, or electrons, or whatever ons it chooses, I'll be inside with my daughter, curled up with a good version of Charlotte's Web, sharing some curds and whey.

CWS

Looking forward to the CWS again this year. My oldest daughter and myself, enjoy going, or even sitting at home, watching on ESPN. Every year, we pick our favorite team to win it all. We usually end up picking another team throughout the series, because our original pick is eliminated early on. I really enjoy seeing a new team emerge occasionally, but, I enjoy some of the perennials also. Last year Fresno State was a giant killer! It was nice to see Tulane get the opportunity to play. I always enjoy Cal State Fullerton. A few years back, I was working on a remodel job, and the homeowners were hosting a family of their friends from California during the CWS. The family's son happened to be a pitcher for Cal State, and that year they won it all! Very exciting! I really enjoy the LSU fans. They're some of the most loyal fans in college sports. One of the recent years, LSU did not make it to the CWS, but some of the fans came to Omaha regardless. A few of the boosters were given 500 lbs. of shrimp from the governor, and told to go to the CWS, tailgate, and feed Omaha! What a class act! I must admit, I'll miss the CWS at Rosenblatt, but as long as the fans come, it's really the people, not the building, that make it the whole experience. Once again, I'm looking forward to another exciting 2 weeks of college baseball. If you see me at the ballpark, feel free to buy me a beer. Batter up!

Time and Money

Folks always seem to be planning for something, whether it be a vacation, a car, a house, new addition to the family - there always seems to be a demand on both time and money. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think so. My time and money never seem to meet in the middle. If I have the time, chances are, I'm not busy at work, thus, not producing an income. If I have the money, it's likely I've been working my "you know what" off, and only have time to catch a breather before it starts again tomorrow. This "time and money" theory, seems to be fleeting. I've tried to prove it "true" for many years now. I may have been close a couple of times, but I'm not really sure what I'm looking for when I reach that goal. Plus, there seems to be external forces constantly changing the rules of engagement, making this wonderful concept elusive. How do you know when enough time is stored in your time bank, and money in the actual bank, at the same moment? I guess that depends on the task at hand, plus the cost of the task at hand. Regardless, we continue to deceive ourselves in thinking that we actually own our time and money. Time actually owns us. Time spent cannot be refunded. And then there's money. That really isn't ours either. Oh, we worked our tail off for it, but if your picture isn't on it, it's not yours! If you want to actually own your money, you need to make your own. There might be some negative response from the government if you're trying to pass bills with your picture on it though. So now that I've depressed everyone whose been saving money and banking time, let's just ignore this conundrum, and pretend this little chat never happened:)

Androgynous

Before I get started, I'm going to apologize now and at the end of this post, for any and everything I write, just in case I step on someone's toes. But, humor me, and please help me out here. I was on the way to the bank the other day, just toodling along (yes, I said "toodling"), listening to the radio, minding my own business. There happens to be a bar across the street from the entrance of the bank parking lot, and I saw two people, middle aged, standing outside the establishment, talking to one another. So far, so good. One appeared to be a jovial looking man, heavy set (the typical "beer belly"), and the other, a woman with a ponytail and purse over the shoulder. You couldn't help but notice, because they were laughing at something apparently funny. Well, I pulled thru the ATM, bought some money, and pulled back out. After pulling thru the ATM, I was at a different perspective in proximity of the couple. I now had a profile view of the man?. The hair was pulled back in a ponytail also, and, disturbingly enough, there appeared to be boobs. Now, I realize that men are allowed to have ponytails. In fact, most men who don the "look", aren't folks I would try to enforce a "no ponytail on a man" ordinance. I am also aware that male obesity can produce "man boobs". Still, I would be in the wrong, to tell someone they had to lose weight just because I thought they should lose weight. I told you, I'm getting in deep here! Well, I pulled away from the bank, not disturbed, but unsatisfied without an answer. I wanted clear indication whether this person was a man or a woman! Even a subtle hint, such as lipstick, would have been enough of a clue to help me out. I realize this is selfish thinking, but how are the rest of mankind to address such a person? What is the politically correct salutation for introduction? I don't have time to stand around to see what bathroom they enter. This is really difficult because, normally, I'm not inclined to offend people I don't know personally. If I know you, you're "open season":) So pleeease help us (me) out here! Grab yourself while talking to others (indication of male), or put your hand on the side of your face while talking (indication of female). Just give us an inkling to avoid an awkward situation. I would like to take this time now, and apologize, apologize, apologize. If I totally offended you, please don't do bodily harm, just let me buy you a drink. Would you like a Cosmopolitan, or a shot of Tequila?

Super Computer

We all happen to own a super computer. It happens to be situated somewhere between our ears. It has been determined, in an average human lifetime, the human brain is used nowhere near capacity. The estimate is one tenth of one percent. To scale this for you, a football field is 100 yards. What is one percent of a football field? One yard, or 3 feet. Three feet is 36 inches. What is one tenth of 3 feet, or 36 inches? That would be 3.6 inches. So, in your average lifetime ( 72 years old for men, 74 years old for women), you use the first 3.6 inches of your brain's capacity, on a football field scale. Pretty pathetic if you ask me. I just can't believe the idiots roaming the earth:)