Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

This is a very interesting theory of human needs. There are five levels to this pyramid theory, and once you read through, it makes perfect sense of the human priority list. At the very bottom of the list, the base needs, are such things as water, food, air, and a couple of others. These basic needs are not all equal though. A person can go weeks without food, but only a few days without water. So, human nature tells us to look for water before finding food. If you happened to be thirsty to the point of dehydration, but someone is cutting off your air supply, the need to breathe takes precedent. As you go up the pyramid, the needs become a little more specific. The next level discusses personal safety and shelter. The level after that, brings out the need for belonging. This means being a part of a family, a church, a fraternity, a community, etc. The fourth level discusses the need for gaining self respect and the respect of others. Self respect should come first because it cannot be lost as easy as respect from others. The first four levels are referred to as the 'need levels'. Once all of these needs are fulfilled, there is the desire for more. When one of these needs has been taken away, the human tendency is to go down the ladder to reacquire the basic needs. For instance, if all four levels of needs are met, but your house catches fire, the immediate need is safety. After everyone appears safe and accounted for, the next concern is shelter, and you climb your way back up the pyramid. The final level of the pyramid is the self actualization level. Once all other human needs are met, we tend to pursue Morality, Beauty, Unity, Creativity, Perfection, Completion, Justice, Simplicity, Richness, Playfulness, Self Sufficiency, and a few others. If you find yourself in poverty, these needs are secondary, and sometimes never considered for the fact you live from day to day. I know this was a deep subject, and 'yes' there will be a test! I didn't happen to find anywhere in his theory, the need for spirits, alcohol, libations, brew, or happy hour. Apparently a flawed theory:)

Where Did My Pen Go?

We have a theory at our house, and maybe this is the case at yours also. We seem to lose pens and pencils at an alarming rate. We think lost pens turn into wire coat hangers, and end up in our closets. Truth be told, I believe my children are the culprits of the mysterious vanishing pens. Of course if you ask them, they're going to deny it and refuse to answer anymore questions without their lawyer present. I've informed my wife not to buy expensive pens, because if we have literary rodents that steal them, we don't want to be out a lot of money. Some other items that seem to walk off of my desk from time to time, are the scotch tape holder and stapler. Sticky note pads are like an irresistible bait for desk thieves. My youngest thinks it's fun to grab a pad of stickies and write a number on each page until she either runs out of paper, or she has counted as far as her limited education has taken her. Every once in awhile, I have to go shake the kids down, and retrieve my desk belongings, and threaten them with solitary confinement. This is probably the one instance where the dog is actually innocent. Unless, of course, he was an accomplice, such as a lookout or the driver of the getaway car. Chances are, the lovable children under my watch, acted alone. I think they know better than to take my architect's ruler. I want that at my disposal the very moment I'm looking for it. If it's not there, or where I believe it should be, heads will roll! I've thought about video surveillance, but I'm sure that would end up in a bedroom, filming an amateur singing video, or endless tape of the dog sleeping or licking himself. I may have to resort to electric cattle fence or barbed wire!

Who's Coming for Dinner?

I'm really not a person who seems to be star struck. There are certain people who have the knack to entertain me, but I would rather just invite them over for Sunday brunch, or go have a beer with them someplace. Some folks intrigue me, but I don't want to attack them in a fanatical way and rip their clothes off. I just want to chat over coffee and ask semi personal questions that only good friends or family members would know about them. I would have to say, my top 5 list would include: 1. Dave Matthews and the band. Ask about dirt on the other band mates and run a few lines to an impromptu song by them. 2. Warren Buffet. How do I make this $10 bill in my pocket, into a $20 bill without lifting a finger? 3. John Cusack. Favorite actor, reminisce about the movie, BETTER OFF DEAD. Ask if his sister really is a nut bar? 4. Tom Osborne and Bo Pelini together. Discuss bringing back the option (just kidding), and bringing back Joe Ganz under an alias with some plastic surgery. Try to get Tom to drink a beer or two with me. 5. David Gilmore and Roger Waters. We need to talk about getting the band back together, and we could just have a little personal concert / jam session, just me and Pink Floyd. This time spent with me doesn't have to be an all day affair, unless THEY want to hang out for the day. I don't expect them to be my new BFF and have my number on speed dial, just an occasional 'hello', or tickets would be a thoughtful gesture on their part. I'm really a low maintenance comrade. I won't even blog brag to my cyber audience... for an hour or two:)

How's The Weather?

Often times, just to break the silence, we'll ask someone their opinion of the weather. Do we really want to know their take, or are we trying to overcome an awkward silence? I would say 9 times out of 10, it's the latter. Some people are weather junkies (you know who you are), and love to talk about cold fronts, barometric pressure, hook echoes, etc. etc. You could probably make a drinking game by watching the weather channel. If the weather lady says, 'heat index', everybody drinks! Lately the weather has been rather sedentary. No heat waves, no tornados, no hail or thunderstorms, all in all, pretty darn nice. I would imagine nice weather like we're having is probably a downer for the weather man and those who like to chase storms. I personally would be perfectly content if the weather were this mild year around. I like excitement, just not in cloud formation. Sorry weather junkies, find another hobby. Fair weather fans enjoy!

No Reservations

Maybe you've seen the show on the Travel channel, Anthony Bourdain - No Reservations? Anthony is a chef who travels the world to examine and consume the local food and culture. He not only stays away from the chain restaurants, but completely abhors the ideas of being within walking distance. He has a rather adventurous palate, eating things that one wouldn't think consumable. I must admit, I would like to eat vicariously through Mr. Bourdain. Another thing I appreciate about the show is, he searches out local customs also. The main reason for the show is to highlight cuisine, but while on location, he takes in the sights and sounds of the area. He has a tendency to tease and torment his camera crew, but they have a pretty good gig too. He's been everywhere and has indulged in pork from all over the world! How bad can that be? And the thing that really just ices the show for me, is his witticism. Apparently he's been dissed by the Food Network at some time in his career. His snide, sarcastic remarks toward the Food Network and Rachel Ray make for a little competitive, in your face, "mom" bashing, reality TV. I'm sure he wishes no ill will upon anyone, but on the other hand, if those two entities were to go away tomorrow, he would have to put on an extremely good act to convince me he was sad about it. And it's a good thing the editor button works. He doesn't really let curse words slip as he does fly. I hate to quote SpongeBob here, but in Anthony's case, those are just "sentence enhancers". I also like the fact, he narrates some of it, rather than talk at us the whole time. Sometimes it's fun to listen to a story, rather than be lectured and face a test afterward. The people from around the world he's met, and the friends, and or enemies, he's made over the course of the series, are some of the most interesting folks. Most seem to have a culinary background, or the very least, a good knowledge of local faire. For now, No Reservations remains at the top of the Kevin TV viewing list, all others are number two. Cheers A.B.

Telemarketers

I know everybody hates getting the phone call while you're right in the middle of something, especially when it's a telemarketer. I, like many, subscribe to the national "do not call list", but apparently that's for the telemarketers to call you and find out if you were directing your unhospitableness towards them, and while they have you as their captive audience, slip in a sales pitch. I'm no different. I hate being bothered while in the middle of something (especially the rare time allotted for a nap), to take a phone call for some insurance to cover the insured small amount of money I have in the bank, or to donate to the deputy sheriff's college education fund for their children, when my children are probably going to have to pay for a lot of their own post education themselves. But, while you have me on the phone, and you're going to give me your best line, and segway into my billing information without actually asking whether this is something I would be interested in, or could use, I'm going to play along to waste your time since you're wasting mine. Eye for an eye. I'm going to try to get your product for free for life, or, since I can't afford whatever crap your pitching, I'm going to try to get you to donate to my cause. I'm sure the US government would be a little upset because I gave my hard earned tax money to something frivolous. So I can accept donations towards my annual tax burden if they would like to make that payment at this time. I do accept credit cards. Instead of donating to the presidential campaign, maybe they could help me campaign for the small amount of money I need to purchase school books for my children. Since we homeschool, it all comes out of my pocket, plus I get the benefit of NOT being able to take a deduction on my taxes. So if you call me because you're interested in my little amount of money, rather than me personally, be prepared to be harassed for a donation or 3 easy payments, whichever you prefer. I'll even put you on my email list and give you current updates on my lifestyle and progress I'm making. I'll even call while you're just sitting down for dinner if you like?

Blind Coke Drinker

This was a funny observation today. I was at HyVee with some friends. I walked up to the soda dispensing station while another friend was standing there. Now, the soda station is quite extensive, having more filling stations than the BP gas station. My friend noticed above the Cherry Coke and Diet Coke, were small strips written in Braille. Apparently those are the only two flavors of pop blind people are allowed to drink, or care to drink. Which brings me to the drive up atm. The key pad is available in Braille also. I think it's rather humorous and a bit scary at the same time, knowing a blind person could pull their car into the atm, get cash, and drive off. I think I might introduce a form of entertainment to the blind populace. I think a Braille dart board would be entertaining on a couple of different levels;)