Fan Club

While walking thru Lowe's today, I passed a man who looked remotely familiar, but common enough, he could have been anyone. As we passed, he said, "Hi, Kevin". I quickly responded with with a smile, and a, "How ya doin today?". I have no idea who this man was, but he apparently knows me. So my whole trip to Lowe's had my mind troubled over who this mystery person is. My guess is someone I've been associated with work over the past few years, but not for certain. I am getting older, and what's that disease the old people suffer when they lose their memory? Perhaps he was a person I owe money to, or better yet, he owes me money! My theory is: I've been at my trade for too many years now, to remember everyone. Word has gotten around about my ability to find the shiny side of a tile, and set it with the correct side up. Obviously this has given rise to my popularity, and I now have ascended to 'rock star' status. He must have just been a fan, maybe even the president of my fan club. I'm glad I was on somewhat of a time constraint, otherwise I would have had to stop and carry on a conversation with this guy, and pretend I know him. That can be a bit awkward. All I've got to say is, I hope I don't run into him again, because I don't have a clue who he is, or even know of somebody who might know him. Besides, I may still have his 20 bucks.

Made The List

Lists are good. It's good to have a list before you go to the grocery store or hardware store. If you make the Dean's list, that can be good or bad, depending on which list you find your name. A list is important for many reasons. Most use a list to accomplish a certain amount of tasks in an allotted amount of time. Rather than relying solely on memory, make a list and check it off as you go. I'm sure we've all done it. One of my previous entries had to do with a list of folks I would like to invite for dinner. This wasn't just a list of friends, (they're always welcome), it was a top 5 list of people I found intriguing, (I'm not saying my friends aren't intriguing either). While sitting with my family on the patio last night, in front of a cozy fire, we come up with some of the most bizarre conversations. Would you expect anything less out us? My oldest daughter, who is very vocal about her feelings, mentioned someone who is a great source of irritation to her. She then proceeds to tell me, this person is on her top 5 list for 'People She Would Like To Punch In The Face'. Where does she come up with this stuff? Her mother and I are a little more reserved, on the verge of passive. I mentioned I have never filled out my top 5 list of folks who deserve a smack down. So I had to find out more about this list. If given the opportunity to punch the person who is seeded #1, are they now off the list, or do they just drop a few spots, perhaps to #5? That depends on the person, and whether they are a repeat offender of my daughter. After being bludgeoned, can they show up on the list, Top 5 People Who Deserve An Apology? Once again, depends. I used to have the pent up rage my daughter is expressing here, but age helps cool that off. The high blood pressure and ulcers are just not worth it. So I'm pondering over individuals who may warrant my wrath, and I cannot come up with one individual who should be on my punching bag list. Oh, there's plenty of people out there who ratchet up my anger from time to time, but not to the 'rearrange your face' level. If my list existed, how would you know if your name appears on it? If I have ever punched you in the face, your name was there. Time to go practice Wii boxing and start compiling my list. Peace out;)

Liberating

People have all types of liberating experiences. For some, it may be getting their license (in the case of my daughter), some like to fly, maybe riding around in a convertible with the top down, mountain climbing, and so on. As a child, you don't really think about these exciting moments that bring you a feeling of liberation. But, as a young boy, one of the most satisfying moments in your early life, is being able to pee outdoors. Recently, my wife's cousin's kindergartner, got in trouble at school for peeing on the playground. Now I don't know all the circumstances, but I would have a hard time administering discipline for such a heinous act. If he were trying to pee on someone else, or showing off to the girls, yes there should be consequences. But if he was preoccupied with dominating his fellow students in a game of Duck Duck Goose, and the overwhelming feeling you get when your bladder has reached maximum capacity, and your choices are to take a chance and run as fast as a five year old can run, into the school and try to make it to the restroom in time, and possibly be ten feet shy of making it, OR excusing yourself, walking over to a tree, and take care of business, I don't really sense an issue here. This is one of those moments when you feel like you're getting away with something. I remember being a young lad, and going out back, in my grandparent's yard, and peeing behind a big bush they had in the corner of the yard. Then I would walk over to the dog's water dish, and wash my hands. You should still try to be clean about the whole experience. The whole 'peeing outdoors' issue can be a bit confusing when you're young, and just starting out. There are rules and limitations, some written, others implied. A boy's first experience may have occurred while out in nature with his father. Have to pee, and the nearest commode is several miles in all direction, it's time to let nature be your toilet. Public urinating, on the other hand, is frowned upon in probably 100% of cities across the globe. Of course, the older you get and the more you do it, just like anything in life, you hone your skills. You soon learn to account for wind speed and direction. Just the thought of a wet spot on your shoes, or the front of your pants can be very uncomfortable. Placement is a key factor also. Peeing in a spot you're eventually going to have to walk doesn't work to well. Peeing uphill is another problem you'll soon figure out. You can't run away from it in midstream. And peeing in the vicinity of certain friends are going to make the outing an embarrassing or painful one. So I encourage young men to learn the art of peeing outdoors, in order for future generations to carry on the 'rite of passage' so to speak. Enough blog, time to go let the coffee out.

ish

Time for a little vocabulary lesson. Just when you thought you were done using your brain, I have to go and make things complicated. Don't worry, there won't be a test, unless you want one? The three letters, ish, together form the suffix meaning; 1. having the qualities or characteristics of. 2. somewhat or approximate. 3. of a nationality or religious group. For instance, the sentence, 'The Amish man with the girlish figure, will be here about sixish'. I think this is a suffix you can have real fun with. I like using it because it gives me somewhat of a flexible schedule when dealing with my day to day, high maintenance, adult toddlers. When I tell someone 'noonish', in my mind, that's a 50 minute extension. Now if you happen to find yourself in Minnesota, be prepared to hear this phrase often and loosely. Minnesotans may use this suffix as an exclamation, perhaps in lieu of a curse word. 'Ish! There's a fly in my soup'. This is actually a slang term from long ago, but a prefix rather than a suffix to a word, when an older generation used to say, 'ishkabibble'. It means; should I worry, or should I care? Over the years it has been shortened to 'ish'. It was thought to have a Yiddish (honestly, no pun intended), or a German root. But upon further investigation, it's just a made up word, that had popularity around the beginning of the 1900's thru the 1930's. Whether it's a made up word or not, it's still fun to say, and an easy way to catch the attention of a Minnesotan, or someone who is familiar with the term. Hard to believe I could blog this much over such bibble-babble. Ish.

Open Your Mouth, and Close Your Eyes

I hated being told that as a kid when an adult was trying to get me to eat something or take medication. If it tastes good, I don't have to be coerced, bribed, tricked, or forced. Fortunately, my tastes are varied. There's a few things I prefer to keep my taste buds sheltered from, but for the most part, I'll try it once. If I didn't like it the first time, I may let several thousand hours pass before trying again. One such product that I did not enjoy as a kid, was headcheese. My grandfather would buy it, sit and eat it for lunch or a snack and thoroughly gross me out. I tried in once, at about the age of sixteen, and haven't had the courage to do it again... until maybe now. The stuff he bought was packaged by Oscar Meyer? and probably consisted of over processed scraps of mystery meat they had lying around. If I were to try it again, it would have to be homemade, possibly by me. Just the name alone, makes most folks ralph a little. Why couldn't they think of a more pleasing name? Terrible marketing skills. Since I am old enough now to drink, I can always chase it with alcohol. Meat served cold, always tastes better with beer anyway. So we'll see if I can muster up some courage (real or liquid) and venture to try it again. By the way, closing your eyes really does nothing to change the taste.

March Madness

This month is INSANE! I finished my taxes over the weekend, now it's time to schedule a date with the CPA. Maybe I would enjoy it if he were better looking. Oh, and a woman. My insurance company required me to fill out a form describing the features of my house, so they can reevaluate the cost of rebuilding, in case my home were destroyed by fire, or tornado. That translates as an increase in premiums in my vocabulary. The government required me to fill out a census form. I quickly scanned over it to make sure there was no 'family sensitive' information required, and then gave it to my 15 year old to fill out. That's called 'delegation' :) On top of all this (toilet)paperwork, I seem to be very busy at my secular work. I'm getting calls almost every other day for new jobs. Is that a sign the economy is turning the corner? On two different days last week, I had a total of at least 32 phone calls, either incoming, or outgoing, or missed.... by NOON! If I'm going to be on the phone that amount of time, I should check into telemarketing. I need to find time to get a prescription refilled. This has been most elusive, for all these other items are far more important than my health. I'm starting to feel like the doll that two young children are playing tug of war with, while some crazy voodoo lady sticks needles in my rear. I guess being busy keeps me from getting in trouble. You know me, I have a propensity for finding trouble. Amazingly enough, I was able to watch a little college basketball amidst all the turmoil, known as 'my life'.

Crazy From the Heat

I don't know if you saw it, but there was a big burning ball of fire in the sky today, that felt as if it were burning off my white flesh. Rumor has it, the temperature reached 64 today. Three and a half months into the new decade before we finally reach the 60 mark (Nov. 12 was the last 60 degree day). When a nice day pops up after months of drudgery, you (or rather me) automatically think 'OUTDOORS'! It's too early in the season to start with the lawn or the garden. Outdoor projects, sensitive to below zero temperatures, just need to wait for about 3 - 4 more weeks. So to fill the need to be outdoors and do something worthwhile, I had a momentary lapse of reason, and took the dog for a tug of war, known to most people as a 'walk'. He is just as excited to be outdoors (other than his own back yard), as I am. It's a good thing one of us was on a leash. Enjoy your one day of spring, winter hits again tomorrow.