Saying, Quip, Idiom, or Locution

However you want to put it, we all have sayings that we've heard throughout out life that just seem to make sense and stick with us. I happen to use quite a few, just to make my conversations more lively and colorful. A few day ago, I mentioned Yogi Berra and his 'eloquent' quips that made no sense, but made perfect sense. I've picked up things over the years from my grandparents, friends, family, people I've worked with, acquaintences, friends of friends, TV personalities, books and magazines, wherever people might be when they utter something. The trick is to remember them when the perfect opportunity arises. Timing is everything, but you may want to consider your audience. In a business setting, it's wise to keep anything marginally correct to yourself. But something with insight that may happen to create a good impression is apropos. If you happen to be in a little different company, say, among friends, having a toddy, you can get away with funny/borderline politically incorrect quips. Among family members, you may have sayings or key words, when heard in public, or uttered in confidence, can't help but bring a smile to your face. Reminds me of the saying, "Grin, it makes people wonder what you're up to". I could sit here for hours listing all the funny zingers I have in my arsenal, but they're more effective used sparingly. I'll try to make a conscious effort to sneak in a couple from time to time. in the meantime, be good. If you can't be good, behave.

Getting the Band Back Together

I have a few friends who happen to be amateur musicians. They occasionally get together to jam from time to time. Most are guitar players. A couple of them happen to be pretty decent guitar players. Well, last weekend, they invited me to come sit in on their jam session. Keep in mind, I'm not musically inclined whatsoever. I love music and concerts, but if I attempted an instrument, it would probably be the most hideous noise you've ever heard. Dogs would howl, windows would shatter, folks within earshot would have to have their inner ear canal repaired. So I just stick with the radio, and I don't even play that very well. But I thoroughly enjoyed last weekend. In fact, one friend wanted to include me in on the action. He armed me with a bass guitar. I thought maybe I was to swing it at any crazed fans who try to rush the stage. I was mistaken. They were going to practice a blues song (Muddy Waters maybe?), and he wanted me to play bass. Now, I'm not completely ignorant. I do know the word 'bass' when referring to music, has a long A sound, rather than the short A in reference to the fish. So all I had to do was strum the top string, only the top string, four times. Then, with rhythmic precision, hold down that string on a fret bar for four more strums, then repeat. I must admit, I was quite nervous for my debut show in front of all those .... well, nobody. But I pulled it off, or at least they led me to believe I pulled it off. I wasn't included in on anymore songs, because the bass guitar parts were much more complicated. Nirvana and Led Zepplin require a tad bit more talent than I can offer. But, my friends named me manager! I guess that's a nice way of telling me they still consider me a friend, but musically, I suck. It's just like when you're getting ready to play a pickup baseball game when you were a kid. There's always one extra kid to make the teams uneven, so the worst kid that gets picked last, he's the manager. That's my role:) So I've informed my friends, this summer, happy hour at my house will return, and they are more than welcome to set up on my deck, and have an outdoor jam session to kick off their summer tour. FYI, they're not an official band, and don't necessarily plan on becoming anything more than what they do now. So, NO, they're not for hire. Sorry. But if anyone out there is looking for a one string, two note, bass guitar player, I may know someone;)

Short Changed

I'm not a big fan of the month of February. For more than one reason, but mainly because we're short changed a couple of days. Then add some bitter cold and snow, that's just insult to injury. But if you think about it, all of your bills usually come due the same time every month, except February. If you normally pay your electric bill on the 30th of every month, you have two less days to get the money together to keep the lights on. NOT FAIR! Plus, the money leaves your account two days early, which denies you of added interest you could be making, which, in my case, adds up to hundredths of a cent, but it's still mine. I've been around awhile, and I know for a fact there's a couple of months out there with 31 days, that could possibly spare a day, and share the love with February. Then there's leap year. OOOH, one extra day in February. I don't know if this is designed to help us think we're getting something for free? HELLO! We're still deficient one day! I don't know how February feels about this situation, but I would be irate. Always having to be in the shadows of the other months, and not getting its fair recognition. This is really a travesty. I think somebody should stand up in February's behalf, and cry for equal treatment. And that hundredth of a cent I'm being robbed of every year, I would hate to see the compound interest I'm losing. In my lifetime, that could add up to a few extra pennies in my ash tray.

Humble Pie

There's three ways to eat humble pie. I'm sure no one relishes the fact that they're in the wrong. Just the opposite - we may have the tendency to rub it in when we're right. Nothing stinks more than the moment you realize you're in the wrong. So at that moment, a decision has to be made. How am I going to take my medicine? Probably the best solution is to just take full responsibility, admit you're 100% in the wrong, apologize if needed, put your tail between your legs, and move on. This is probably the hardest thing to do, but yet, the most effective. Or, you could admit partial wrongdoing, downplaying the erroneous side, and insisting you were not completely wrong. And maybe this is the case. This type of response may, or may not be followed by an apology. If an apology is offered, it may be conditional. "I'm sorry, but...". Finally, there is just flat out denial. This is more like being force fed, rather than actually eating humble pie. There's nothing quite as irritating as pointing out a mistake, and have someone deny responsibility when the facts reveal otherwise. If you happen to be the one standing amid all the evidence, with the evidence all over your face and hands, and blatantly refuse to take the blame, then be prepared for a heated argument. What's really embarrassing, if you've been doing something for years, maybe even your whole life, and then find out that you've been in the wrong, that's a hard pill to swallow! Another difficult situation may be to admit fault even when you ARE right, just to preserve peace. Eventually, you may be justified at a later date, perhaps when other facts are revealed. But in the meantime, you just have to bite your tongue. When the falsehood is finally exposed, don't forget to say, "I told you so"! I personally have found, humility is not a bad thing, or a sign of weakness. It takes broader shoulders to ...... uh, 'shoulder' responsibility for your errors. In the long run, you will maintain peace among your family and friends, and be able to go to bed at night with a good conscience. I must say though, it's still fun to be right and rub their noses in it:)

Extra Parts

I remember growing up, and hanging out in my Grandfather's garage, and being amazed at his ability to take an automobile apart, put it back together, and it ran like a top (most of the time). But there were always extra parts left over, especially nuts and bolts. I used to think, "Don't those have to go back into the vehicle, since they came out of the vehicle"? That really puzzled me that the auto manufacturer would just throw in a few extra, just in case we happened to lose one in the process of changing our starter. Lately, I've come to think the human body is a lot like Grandpa's old Ford. I've recently talked to a friend, whose wife just had her appendix taken out. The doctor mentioned we really don't know what the appendix accomplishes, maybe some type of filter. Then yesterday, after meeting with a client, their daughter was going in to have her tonsils removed. We can function fine without them, and their not sure why we even have them. Last night, we were discussing the time when my oldest daughter will have to have her wisdom teeth pulled. Doctors and dentists agree, they cause more harm than good, so they should be removed. So why are we born with all these extra parts? Surely they have to have a function? Grandpa used to keep all his extras, just in case somebody needed a nut, a bolt, a wire, whatever ailed your car. He WAS the Dr. Frankenstein of the auto world. Just imagine the extra parts he would have had on hand if he were a surgeon!

Goin' For Gold

I don't know why, but I sure do get sucked into watching the Olympics. I know I'm from the United States, but I find myself cheering on great athletic performances, rather than the country the athletes represent. I was watching downhill skiing last night, and the difference in time between the first place finisher and the third place finisher was nine hundredths of a second. That is about two blinks of an eye. The second place finisher was literally one blink away, four hundredths of a second. We've all seen photo finishes in all types of sports, but to grasp the ability it takes to even finish the course, let alone come within the blink of an eye to win it all, is quite amazing. These athletes are well tuned machines, and the difference between first and second place, could have been the placement of their ski in a certain turn, or possibly the angle of their crouch on a downhill straightaway, and maybe breathing in when they should have exhaled, who knows. It's quite impressive what the human body is capable of. Of course, it takes years of training the muscles, the breathing, and the mind to accomplish such feats. I also caught some snowboarding competition. Snowboarders are a different breed. Most athletes are concerned about wind resistance, and usually wear clothing that is form fitting to cut the drag from the wind. Not snowboarders! I'm not sure the reasoning, but they appear to be wearing more clothes than when I leave for work in the morning during the month of February. Trust me, I'm not very aerodynamic. It takes a lot of energy to make it throughout my day with the extra clothing. Getting in and out of the truck, trudging through snow on frozen ground, with ruts formed from trucks and heavy equipment, carrying job materials and tools that are not equally balanced, having to maneuver hallways and stair wells, and perhaps carrying them in such a way that twists your torso, that, by the time you're finished, a chiropractic visit may be in the near future. Geez, I made that sound like an Olympic event. Maybe those athletes aren't so special after all. Maybe I could start up a 'special' type of Olympics for those of us who didn't make the team. Wait, that may have already been done.

Takin' Care of Business

Come on, sing it with me! I feel like I've been busier than usual, mainly paper/office work, but not really all that busy in the field. There's definitely some minutes of my day I could be filling. I guess it gives me time to waste, using the Hunt & Peck method of typing, to blog about unimportant issues, that really aren't issues. Trying to figure out why I'm busy at one end and not the other, has me thinking about the BTO song. I'm takin' care of business, but I'm busy doin' nothin' all day. Now, I just need an assistant to help me with my overload of nothin'. We might even put in some overtime.