Murphy's Law

What can go wrong, will go wrong. Such optimism on the part of Mr. Murphy. Who was Murphy? Who appointed him lawmaker of misfortune? Apparently Mr. Murphy was involved in aeronautics back in the 1930's, when he came across a mistake in wiring during an experiment of deceleration. He said, "If there's anyway of doing it wrong, he'll find it"! Thus the law of Murphy was established. There is also a mathematical solution to Murphy's Law. It is as follows: 1 + 1 -> 2. The symbol, ->, means, 'hardly ever'. So the statement is, 1 + 1 is hardly ever 2. The solution just can't be that easy. Things don't always add up. No doubt many of us have experienced the hardships associated with Murphy's Law. The one day you don't take an umbrella, it pours buckets out of the sky. So occasionally we break the law of Murphy, and are punished to the letter of the law. Some of us are habitual Murphy's lawbreakers, while others seem to have Murphy's Law figured out, and stay one step ahead of the law. It would seem sometimes circumstances are beyond our control, the moon and the planets are out of alignment, and we happen to be standing under a tree with a bird in it, wearing our favorite shirt. We're not even looking for trouble, it just happens to pull our name out of a hat, and we're the Murphy's Law lottery winner for the day. If it strikes early in the day, it's almost impossible to escape further recurrences for the remainder of the day. At those moments, we should consider whether to struggle thru every second of every minute, or turn around and go back to bed. Here's a pared down list of Murphy's Laws. Enjoy.
1. Nothing is as easy as it looks.
2. Everything takes longer than you think.
3. Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
4. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.
5. If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
6. If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
7. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
8. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
9. Nature always sides with the hidden law.
10. Mother nature is a bitch.
11. It is impossible to make anything foolproof because the fools are so ingenious.
12. Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
13. Every solution breeds new problems.
And finally, Murphy's Philosophy: Smile... tomorrow will be worse:)

Head West Young Man!

Either tonight after work, or early tomorrow morning, I'll be going to western Nebraska to work on a Kingdom Hall. Sydney to be exact. Hopefully work finishes a little early and I can get out of Dodge sooner. Murphy's law, I probably will end up with a ten hour day. I have at least one person going with, so I won't be sleeping behind the wheel. He's a pretty good road trip compadre, so I won't have to listen to country music, or listening to whining about not listening to country music. We should only be there two days. The first day, we set tile right on the open slab of concrete. There are no walls yet, so the walls are laid out and chalked in so we know where to stop and start our tile. The next day grout, turn around and head back down the hill to Omaha. We set the tile a week or two before the actual build, because when you set a piece of tile, you can't walk on it for eight hours minimum. This building is going to be constructed in three to four days, completely finished, all the way down to the sod in the yard. This is why we set tile beforehand, because there's not eight hours to burn. I used to keep track of how many projects I've worked on, but I have lost count. I was at 37, I'm probably around 42 or 43 now. I've been all over the midwest and have seen some beautiful country, and have met some great people. I've worked in Missouri, Iowa, South Dakota, and obviously Nebraska. All work is volunteer, to help keep the cost down, so our friends in other locations are not strapped with a mortgage they can't afford, or so they can enjoy a new meeting place that they could not otherwise afford. Some of the more memorable ones are Rapid City, SD, the most fun. Spearfish, SD, the most scenic. Gregory, SD, the best tasting water. Shenandoah, IA, my first one. Lincoln, grouting in the rain. Harlan, IA, staying awake for thirty hours straight. North Omaha, the biggest. Vermillion, SD, the hottest weekend. I'm sure there's something I could probably remember from each one if I sat down and thought about it long enough. Well, time to pack up the mules, and head west west young man! Tell ma I'll write,...... or rather 'blog'.

Omaha

I just finished watching an episode of Anthony Bourdain - No Reservations. He's a New Yorker, and this episode he sought out the delicacies of his surrounding neighborhoods. Which got me thinking, how well do I know my hometown? How about the outlying suburbs? I've lived in south O (otherwise known as "God's country') for 19 years now. South O I'm pretty familiar with. I grew up in northwest Omaha and the Benson area. I know my way around fairly well. I've worked construction since graduating from high school, so I'm in west O quite a bit. I'm one of those people who familiarizes areas with landmarks - usually food related. I try to seek out the little mom n pop places, greasy spoons, hole in the wall, non chain restaurants. Iknow which neighborhoods are safe and which ones to keep on driving. I'm somewhat self educated on Omaha history. I feel I have a well rounded knowledge of my hometown. My current stomping grounds are chock full of decent restaurants. Some even know me by name. Of course, I have my favorites. If you're on 20th & U St., there's Sam's Mexican Deli, 18th & Vinton, my personal favorite, Louie M's Burger Lust, 33rd St between L and Q is Guaca Maya. At 38th & Center is Greek Islands. Then there is the Old Market area. Jazz for cajun, Upstream Brewery (self explanatory), haven't eaten at Vivace's in awhile, but I had good meals there. A couple of midtown favorites are the Dundee Dell for fish n chips, and Amsterdam Falafel & Kabob, both at 50th & Underwood. Sortino's Pizza is my choice for pizza, Big Fred's is a close second. I live extremely close to Lo Sole Mio's. Espana in downtown Benson is an experience worth going for. Bianca's on 132nd & Maple was amazing! I'm a little disillusioned with west O, because it has been overrun with sparkling new chain restaurants. A couple of the chains are OK, but I prefer the smaller, more intimate setting. One area of town that could use a decent non chain diner, is Irvington. My shop is located there, and pickings are slim. I even have a couple of spots in Lincoln. M&N Sandwich Shop and Yia Yia's Pizza are worth honorable mention. There's many others I haven't mentioned, but all you have to do is talk to folks, and they'll be happy to brag about a restaurant they're proud of and consider their own. Then you've found a new destination and a fresh menu to satisfy your appetite for Omaha.

German For a Day!

Attended my fourth annual Octoberfest over the weekend. It was a smashing success. I consumed the highly touted, long awaited, Warsteiner Octoberfest beer. It just so happens, September is the time they tap the first keg of octoberfest. So Octoberfest celebration is for the tapping of the kegs, it has nothing to do with the month of October. I don't make the rules, I just go along with them. It is one of the most festive celebrations I've been to. There are several Octoberfests throughout the month of September, in various locations. I've been to a couple of different ones, but the best is at the German American Society. It's by far the largest one in Omaha. Four years ago, my friend, Ben, and his family, introduced us to Octoberfest. They, being true Germans, have been attending for years. Last Octoberfest was their last 'hurrah' for Omaha, since they all moved to Arizona. Last year was definitely bittersweet. I felt the need to join them to properly send them off to the desert, because they were leaving two weeks afterward. I wasn't sure how this year's festival was going to feel, for this was my first festival without them. It felt a little like the first day of kindergarten (hey, a German word). Not sure what to expect, will I make friends, will my teacher be nice, am I going to cry and miss my mom, will the beer still taste the same, so many unknowns. Fortunately, I invited a few friends, who have never been. This was their maiden voyage. They're a fun loving group, most of the time, so I figured if we mix that with a little bit of draft, this could be a jolly good time. I felt, by the evenings end, everyone enjoyed themselves, especially the children. How could you not enjoy yourself. You have heavy German beer, laden with calories, heavy German food, laden with calories, heavy German women dressed in old world German garb, laden with calories, and polka music! My oldest daughter mentioned this is, by far, the best activity we do together, as a family, all year. She now looks forward to joining in the festivities a whole year in advance. We've already marked it on our calendar for next year.

I'm Seeing Red!

Not because I'm in Huskerland euphoria, no, I think you know why! So many things went wrong on Saturday, the Huskers just couldn't ascend the mountain they built for themselves. I really get tired of seeing Nebraska spot a team seven points within the first 3 minutes of a game. I feel we should elect to receive the ball on opening kickoff, rather than defend. May be the other team will spot us seven. The officiating seemed a tad bit ridiculous. Unfortunately, they were Big XII officials. Maybe they too will improve as the season progresses. One play I don't completely understand. Maybe someone out there, other than a Hokie, can help me see what the officials apparently didn't see. Menelik Holt caught a pass in the end zone, both feet in, fell out of bounds and fumbled when he hit the ground. It appeared to me he had possession, and when he fumbled, the ground actually caused the fumble. I have been under the assumption for quite a few years now, that the ground cannot cause a fumble. Am I in the wrong here? Was I confusing my lacrosse rules with football rules? To top it off, that play did not even come under review. The Huskers just seem to be too nice. Nebraska has a way of bringing out the best in other teams. They're the motivational speaker that gets you worked up in a frenzy to go conquer what lies before you. I say, "Enough Mr. Niceguy". With all the road work going on in this state, there has to be a spare steamroller somewhere. Playing another pud team this week is not going to prove anything. It's like you got beat up by your big sister, and now you're going to go take it out on the pipsqueak next door, who happens to be five years younger. I sure hope Bo is there helmets all week at practice. Maybe as the week progresses, I'll simmer down a bit from red to a paler shade of pink. That's it! Hand out pink shirts instead of black shirts. The harder you work and prove you're ready to perform, you get to shed the pink for black! It's a good thing I'm not coach, I'd probably have a dozen players meeting me out in the alley, stuffing pink jerseys where jerseys aren't supposed to be worn. Either way, I'm whining until we can defeat a top 20 team soundly. See you Saturday!

Pillow Fight

My wife and I have this ongoing spat over the pillow arrangement on our bed. First of all, we each have more pillows than heads. I have three pillows, one for each head, and she has three pillows for just one head. A few times a week, the pillows seem to migrate to my side of the bed, making it lopsided and no longer symmetrical. Now as a man, I know other men out there are no different than me, I'm not particularly aware of my surroundings until it smacks me in the face. So when I go to bed, I don't stop to take 'pillow roll call', to see whose defected to my side. I shut the light off, turn around three times, and close my eyes. Many times I'm in bed before my wife. She's somewhat of a night owl, staying up cleaning, watching something on TV, reading, Facebooking, etc., etc. So when she comes to bed, there's a good chance I'm already asleep. Before she gets in though, she takes count of how many pillows I have, and how many she has. Keep in mind, I'm always the first out of bed in the morning, so during the course of the day, somehow a pillow sneaks its way to my side. Next thing I know, a pillow is being yanked from underneath my head, and dropping to the next level of pillow. Of course this awakens me, which, once I figure out what's happening, puts me in the greatest of moods. So last night was another pillow fight, and I told her "this is going to make for good blog material". She kind of gave me that evil chuckle as if I were crossing the line, and could possibly receive retaliation from the mafia. "No, please don't kill my dog", I pleaded. Oh, and I was not to mention the Jupiterlike noxious gas that floated out from under the covers, like a London fog. So consider that unmentionable. I know she's going to read this and I'm going to be in deep. Heads up hon, I drooled on your pillow and now you have Kevin germs;)

Beware!

My daughter turned 15 yesterday. Yes, much like when milk goes bad, she turned. She has been studying the driver's manuel day and night, with the objective of obtaining a driver's permit the very second she turned. Now that she's 15, she feels she is not only capable of driving an automobile, but she also wants to own one. Please keep in mind, this is a girl who has about $50 to her name, and no job. So those qualifications entitle her to whatever she desires. Spoiled brat! So her legal guardians have not bowed down to her unrealistic expectations, thus leading to the accusation, in her mind, of child abuse. At the time I turned 15, within about two weeks, I did obtain a driver's permit. When I turned 16, I was allowed to get my license for a couple of reasons. First, I had a part time job. I paid for insurance, gas , repairs, and the car I bought was a 1969 VW Beetle with no heat, for $150. I had saved about $800 prior to buying my car, but I didn't get my car for about 3 months after I turned 16. Second, I was living with my grandparents at the time, because my mother's life was going down the toilet, and I needed a way to and from school. Allowing me to drive solved a couple of different issues. My daughter, the spoiled 'princess', feels we are denying her of god given rights, by making her show us a measure of responsibility, by completing a certain percentage of her school work, prior to acquiring a permit. Once she has the permit though, driving is still going to be limited due to the fact a parent has to accompany her. We're not going everywhere she feels the urgent need to be somewhere to be seen. There are going to be occasions where I insist on driving rather than her. I have a feeling, the next couple of years are going to be filled with utter disappointment, because the 'princess' can't do or have everything at the snap of her fingers. Little does she realize, a REAL princess is always chauffeured.

Hunger Strike

The term 'hunger strike' means something different to me than to the mainstream radicals. They quit eating in protest, to further a cause, or to stop an injustice. When my hunger strikes, I have to throw food at it to stop the violence. Now fasting, on the other hand, is completely different. Some people fast for religious reasons, for better clarity of mind, for bodily cleansing, and for health reasons. I've had to fast a couple of times before going to visit the doc. He is wise to make me do this if he's probing where he shouldn't be. I've seen what exits my body, and I surely wouldn't want to be on the receiving end. But I've never had to go more than 24 hours without food. Actually a person can go several weeks without food, before perishing. The body starts to live off of fat supplies. The chubbier the individual, the longer you'll survive. Now water is a different story. A person can only make it for about 4-6 days tops, without some H2O. It doesn't matter what your size is, you will dehydrate like a worm on the sidewalk during a sunny day. Back to fasting though. Every single day, each one of us unknowingly fasts. When you tuck yourself in at night, sleep for eight hours, and awaken, you've fasted on a short term basis. So to 'break' the 'fast', you put those two words together and viola! BREAKFAST. I've been thinking about trying to fast for a short period of time (other than just between sittings), to realize first, what the hunger pang feels like beyond my normal routine of meals. Occasionally I skip lunch, but never two meals in a row. I'd like to pay attention to my moods and my energy level. Most people experiencing hunger, along with low blood sugar, get hangry (combination hungry and angry). But this probably goes away in a short period of time. The times where I work through lunch, my stomach will rumble around noontime, but if I ignore it, it soon subsides. Moods would be hard to monitor depending on the environment you've created for yourself that day. You could be angry from hunger, or you could be angry at the individuals around you, in which case, their lives could be in danger because of your lack of food. Please keep in mind, if you try this experiment, cannibalism is frowned upon in most societies. Energy levels are fairly easy to monitor. After a big meal, you're sluggish from your body working overtime to digest the millions of calories consumed. After a snack or sensible meal, one may experience a burst of energy. When I've worked through lunch, I seem to have more than the usual amount of energy, but after awhile, the tank is on 'empty', and time to refuel. I also think it's good to feel hungry from a lack of food sometimes, for a moral sense. This way you're aware of what hundreds of thousands of people feel every minute of every day of their lives. Please, don't feel an overwhelming amount of pity because you have something to eat and they don't. There's not much you, personally, can accomplish to change their lot in life, but it just makes you conscious of their plight. No need to add yourself to the statistics if you have the means to feed yourself. So next time you're standing in line to order your triple whopper with cheese and everything else available to pile on it, think about the hungry folks around the globe, and DON'T supersize your meal.

Bait

Last night, we were invited to go with some friends to Blue Sushi. It was a fun crowd, so I obliged. Now, I'm not much for the raw seafood scene, so I was a little apprehensive about putting anything in my mouth. When it comes to sushi, I'm a novice. I don't know what to order, what's raw, what's cooked, what's claimed to be cooked, but tastes raw, I just don't know. So I put the life of my tastebuds in the hands of friends. They were good sports about it, but on the other hand, I didn't want to appear to be a sissy about it either. We started off with calamari appetizer. I loved cooked seafood, especially when battered and fried. So I ate my fair share of that, because I knew when the 'bait' arrived, I would struggle with getting it down. We also had some lettuce wraps and chicken on a stick (mainly for the kids). I think there was an underlying reason for the chicken skewers, just in case Kevin wussed out, they still wanted me to be able to keep my strength up. By the time appetizers were ordered, I think everyone at the table knew my, not so long history with sushi. Unfortunately, this drew a certain amount of attention and expectation from my dining comrades. I think they may have been taking bets under the table. There's a 12 to 1 shot he will gag, and spit it out in his napkin. Finally the plateful of 'cooked, but tastes raw', morsels arrive. Everyone at my end of the table are encouraging me to "dig in"! Just a side point, they look so beautifully prepared, in my mind they should be out of this world. On the flip side, they look so beautifully prepared, can't we just sit and look at them, like a piece of art? So I finally got my nerve up to try 2 different types. One had shrimp, the other, not quite sure what it was. I love shrimp, so I thought this would be a breeze. Now, I know I probably psyched myself out, but I had a strategy. Put it in my mouth, chew no more than three times, swallow, chase with a huge swig of beer. By the way, I ordered Guinness. I figured it to be the direct opposite in taste, so that would help disguise what I was about to do. Well, I got the first one down, barely! Then my coaches told me to try it with wasabi and soy sauce. What a revelation! So I cleared my palate with a half a glass of beer and my shirt sleeve, and tried it again. Second time went smoother with the help of the wasabi/soy sauce concoction, but after my 'big gulp' of beer, I was catching a hint of raw fish aftertaste, which happens to taste just as bad as tasting it originally. I tried one more time, with more wasabi and soy, thinking if I totally immersed this piece of 'whatever it was', chewed only twice, chase with beer, water, and lemon, that might be the recipe for me to join the elite group of sushi diners. Nope, still got the lingering taste of 'nasty', and knew that I should stop before I become the 'not so pleasant dining guest'. I have the same problem with liver. It hits a certain point in the back of my mouth, and I involuntarily gag. I was starting to feel that reflex, and I knew that I've reached my limit. This was my personal episode of Bizarre Foods, with Andrew Zimmer laughing at me behind the scenes. So I've promised my wife we would go back, because she has no problem with eating cat food. I will probably order myself a big bucket of those calamari and a beer. I could probably do sushi if I were the one preparing it. A nice beer batter, deep fry for a couple of minutes, serve hot with some Trappey's sauce, hushpuppies, and beer. Top it off with a wasabi after dinner mint.

%

Remember when Prince dropped his name and went by a symbol? That's what I'm doing. My new symbol is %. Just kidding , that's moronic! The reason I've titled this blog, %, is I'm coming upon my 21st wedding anniversary next month, and I've been married now for 48.8% of my life. Next year, 50%. But, its been 84% of my adult life. So this got me thinking about other percentages. My oldest daughter has been a part of my life for 34.8%, the youngest, 16.3%. I was 6 years old when I broke my arm and have had a rather impressive scar for 86.1% of life. I've worn glasses for 76.8%. I've been a coffee drinker for 67.5%. Beer for 66.7%. I knew 75% of my grandparents, but only 25% of my great grandparents. I don't know what percentage of life I have left in me, but I hope I'm not at the 50% mark yet. The first 43 years has slipped by, and one day I woke up and wondered, "How did I get here?". Why, it just seems like a week ago I was graduating from high school. I remember vividly, my children being born. I'm on my way to pushing the half century mark. I've been in the same trade for a quarter of a century, that's 58.1% spent on my knees, in somebody's bathroom! I've lived in the same house for 34.8%, my children, 100%. I don't know, really, what percent Italian I am, but, I'm just happy to say that I have some in me. I like 90% of all people I meet, 45% after I get to know them. 75% of food I'll eat, 90% of beer I'll drink. I've now been a 'blogger' (I still hate that word), for 1.3% of my life. Mind boggling!

Horseradish Lover

One of my favorite sandwich toppings, which I happened to indulge in today, is horseradish. Horseradish is believed to be used as far back as 1500 BC, by the Egyptians. It progressively spread throughout Europe and became popular in Germany. The German word for the tuber was 'meerrettish', meaning 'sea radish' since it was grown along the coast. In the mid 1600's, the English took a fond liking to 'meerrettish', but mispronounced it 'mareradish'. It was later called 'horseradish', which has stuck down to our time. I don't care what you call it, just put a spoonful on and watch my eyes water! It's a different kind of burn than say, jalapeno. It doesn't really burn as it goes down. It just seems to clear the olfactory system after you swallow. And the burn doesn't continue for some time afterward, like a hot pepper. I guess the Egyptians used it for rheumatoid arthritis and for gastrointestinal relief. If you read the blog about cheese, keep some horseradish around:) Actually, keep horseradish on hand, in case I come visit. Enjoy!

Swiss Cheese

I learned something new today. My family took a field trip to a cheese making farm this morning. I had a good idea how cheese was made, but my wife, who is somewhat of a cheese nerd (not curd), explained the process a little clearer for me, since she has actually made her own cheese. I know, some women like getting their nails done, my wife makes gorgonzola. Regardless, it's an interesting process. One can't help but wonder, who figured out the chemistry to make it all happen? One of life's little mysteries that has always perplexed me, is how does Swiss cheese get those holes in it? Virtually all cheese is made with the same steps to get the desired curds. Then the cheese is left to age or cure, and during this time is when it develops its taste. Bacteria and mold do most of the flavoring. Swiss cheese has an additional bacteria added, which produces a gas that gets trapped within the cheese during the aging process. While other cheeses are sitting nicely behaving themselves, Swiss cheese is partying it up and passing gas! In other words, if cheese were people, the Swiss are going to be the rowdy bunch you want to party with, but hope you're in another location the following morning. All in all, cheese sure is delectable, and the varieties seem endless. Well, off to separate my curds from my whey, and then chase it with a hoppy wheat liquid. Just imagine that fermentation!

Help Me I'm Falling

I know everyone has probably had this happen at one time or another. You crawl in bed, thoroughly exhausted, dose off, and are suddenly awakened by the sensation that you're falling. This has to be one of the most startling feelings, and when I realize I'm OK, it angers me because I was awaken. This action of feeling as if you're falling during sleep, is called a hypnic jerk. There is no scientific answer as to why this occurs, but there are a couple of theories that seem to make sense. When you have dosed off, there is a time where your brain is still somewhat conscious of your surroundings. During this time, a noise or a touch can awaken you because your mind is still working on overtime, while the rest of your body has had a bedtime story and is on its way to sleepy time. At this moment, your heart rate slows, your body temperature drops, and your muscles relax. Then the brain kicks in, and tells your body that you're losing control, you better get off your @$$ and catch yourself! Thus the jerking motion that wakes you, and your spouse up. Now, not only am I mad for waking myself up, but she's mad for waking her up too. I wonder if this explanation at the time of me disturbing her sleep would make sense and diffuse the situation? But honey, It's not my fault, it's... my body and brain's fault. Yeah, that should help. I'm just glad I'm not one of those people with unlimited amounts of energy, like they've eaten the Energizer Bunny for breakfast. I could just see my brain telling my body to 'drop and give me fifty'.

Eat Your Heart Out

In case you didn't know, I'm married to a supermodel. I may be delusional, but I prefer it that way. Why does a pig play in the mud? He likes it! My wife came home the other day, with a rather amusing occurrence. She was at a used book store where a gentleman happened to take note of her eye catching beauty. He kept finding himself in the same aisle as she was before he finally burst with overwhelming adoration, and had to speak to her. He had to tell her how beautiful she was, and asked if she were married. Happy to say, she did not leave me for the total stranger, possible serial rapist. She informed the man of her marital status plus, the extra baggage that comes along with being married to me. He still wasn't convinced she was shooting him down like a SCUD missile, and had to get in one last compliment before going down in flames. I am surprised I have somehow attracted someone of the opposite sex, and miraculously convinced her to spend the rest of her natural life with me. Love is truly blind, but it must be somewhat deaf and dumb too. Of course, my wife has nothing to fear when it comes to women hitting on me. I am quickly approaching the age where 'age' is a huge factor. Unless they happen to be looking for a 'sugar daddy', which, my financial state would qualify me as just 'daddy' without all the calories. If I've ever been 'hit on' by a woman, I wasn't aware of it. Any subtle hints, less than disrobing in front of me, I'm not very in tune to. I usually attract dogs wanting to hump my leg, and gay men wanting to hump my leg. I don't care to swing that direction. So ALL the men out there looking at my wife, you have one admirable quality: good taste in women. This one has been off the department store shelf for awhile now, so, I feel your pain, but time to go find a doll of your own to play with.

Procrastinator

Hey, I resemble that remark! Yes, I'm a horrible procrastinator. I'm supposed to be working on an estimate due tomorrow, and I've had the blueprint all week. For some reason, I think I work better under pressure. The only reason there's a time constraint is because I've created one for myself. I waste all this time beforehand, and put my nose to the grindstone at the last possible minute. I've tried it the other way, jump on it right away, and then waste a bunch of time afterwards, and I feel like I don't know what to do with all this 'extra' time. And if I'm wasting time just floundering for something to do, I feel unproductive. When I waste time ahead of a deadline, I've usually found some distraction to occupy time, and then I don't feel so bad, because I've been engaged in something that obviously interested me. It may not have been productive, but I've indulged a selfish curiosity, and in my feeble mind, that seems plausible. For instance, sitting at a computer, typing a blog of all things, just to amuse myself, is not only a waste of time, but completely unproductive and irresponsible, when there is work to do and projects to finish. Unfortunately, my conscience doesn't gnaw at me enough to change my habitual procrastination. Maybe I need a coach to prod me in the manner in which I should utilize time. Is there such a personal life, time control, trainer? Even if I could afford something as frivolous as that, I would probably frustrate the individual trying to maximize my productivity, and minimize my time wasted. Apparently, I've been told I have a mind of my own (that's the kind way to say, "pigheaded"), and refuse to do something I've been told to do, or else. If I'm asked, no problem. If I'm strong armed, there's going to be a delay. Looking on the bright side, when I'm finally in the correct mindset, and my brain engages my hand, I stick with it until I'm finished. I don't like loose ends, they waste my time:) I should probably wrap this up and get to the task at hand. But first, a cookie.

A Helping Hand

Went over to a friend's house this evening to help him with some tile. I didn't get paid and didn't expect to, either. I know, some are thinking: Why doesn't he come to my house and work for free? First of all, if I worked for free for everybody who wanted me to work for free, I'd have to go get a full time job to support my 'work for free' habit. So now you're probably thinking: Yeah, so. Second of all, I don't like work THAT much. I do enjoy the thought of work, and having a job, but once I get there, that sometimes changes. The main reason I went to this friend's house is, he just had surgery on his index finger, related to an accident he had earlier in the year involving several fingers. He's never one to ask for help, so his kids asked for him. Since he's a nice person, and has been a friend of my wife's family for years, I was happy to oblige. I was there for approximately 3 1/2 hours, which an hour of that was setting up my tools and eating supper with them. So roughly two hours of work (the easiest job I've had in some time), turned out nice, and I don't even have to finish it. Their son is going to come grout the tile I laid. They seemed rather happy with the outcome because the praise was constant, almost to the point of me thinking they weren't really sincere. But they were. Of course, being paid for performing your trade and producing something handmade is usually fulfilling. But when you can do something for somebody who has had a rough go of it lately, or for someone who can't afford it, but deserves it, when they express a sincere 'thanks', that's more rewarding than payment. It is surprising how good it feels to give. Chances are, it will come back to reward you someday:)

Smoke Em If You Got Em!

As you all know, I'm a big fan of meat in a tube. In general, I'm just a big fan of meat - a carnivore at heart. Oh, I like vegetarians too. They taste good. About the only thing I can't stomach is liver. I've tried since I was a youngster, and I have this problem of involuntarily ejecting it from my body. So, I'll leave that little delicacy to other carnies who cherish the organ. But lately, my new hobby has been sausage making. Keep in mind, I'm still a novice, but my first attempt at Italian sausage has been a smashing success. I've tried another recipe for an Italian lunch meat, known as mortadella. It too was rather tasty, but I need to work on the texture and consistency. There is a guy I work with, from the Czech Republic, and he has enjoyed smoked sausage from an early age, since they smoked their own meats. So I have been talking, and planning, and designing, a smokehouse. I may have the means soon to fulfill this recent dream. Between him and I, I think we've come up with a good design. I can almost smell the aroma as I type. I not only want to smoke sausage, but also brisket, chicken, fish, a turkey would be the 'bomb'! You can even smoke veggies. Smoked chile peppers are known as "chipotle". I saw on TV, you can open a can of plain old baked beans, put them in the smoker, and viola! An added dimension to your potential flatulents! To get this project underway, I'm going to pick up an old wood burning stove this weekend. So my whole design is going to be built around this stove. I hope it works, for you all shall reap the benefits! I have a feeling, when this is completely up and running, or rather, smoking, I'm going to finally be the 'popular' kid on the block.

Idiosyncrasies

Everything man builds is in a constant state of deterioration from the day he finishes. Sometimes we let things run their course, and start fresh with a new idea, when the older version has finally pooped out. Many times we try to preserve what has been built, because of the value and beauty of the object. And I'm talking about EVERYTHING we manufacture, construct, fabricate, etc. etc. For instance, the t-shirt I'm wearing at this very moment, was new at one time, now it's used with a small hole in it. I'm going to continue to wear it until it has run its life course, then properly dispose of it. Now such an object as the painting of Mona Lisa, or the Coliseum in Rome, those creations have been deemed worth preserving, because of the value, beauty, and historical significance. Still, without proper constant care, these items would eventually turn to dust. Fortunately, we have individuals who care enough, and are talented enough, to restore valuables to their original state, or, at least, preserve it in its current state. Now there is absolutely no object in my house (except my house itself) that is worth the kind of money, to attempt to preserve its life. That's why I've been labeled a 'consumer'. I eat things up and dispose of them at a later date. Keep in mind though, I'm not made of money. So the items I purchase, I attempt to fix them to prolong their life expectancy, proving I'm somewhat of a tightwad. Usually when I 'fix' something, it has a tendency to work, just not quite as good as it was when purchased new. So my family and I accept the fact that our item works, just not as good as the commercial on TV. We put up with the little idiosyncrasies, in an attempt to eek out a couple of more hours of use, before we have to say 'goodbye'. For instance, we had to purchase a new toilet last year. We make every effort to live as 'green' a life as possible, so we bought a low water consumption toilet. It's quite fascinating how it actually works... BUT, the little float has a tendency to stick, so the water will continually run, using more water than our old toilet. I've attempted to adjust this float, and it'll work properly for about a day, then back to its old tricks. All it needs is a little vibration to make it work properly. So our brilliant ingenuity has come up with a 'cost free' solution. If you stomp your foot on the floor, in front of the toilet, it will immediately stop running. There, fixed! My wife's car is another quirky little piece of machinery. She has electric door locks that lock automatically, when the car reaches about 5 mph, the door knobs click, and the doors are locked. The driver's door though, seems to have a mind of its own. It may, or may not lock when the rest do, or, it may decide to lock when you turn a corner, or while increasing speed on the onramp to the interstate, or while pulling into the driveway, home from your journey. Once again, an idiosyncrasy we learn to live with. So to fix such things, that are falling down around us, man has invented duct tape and bailing wire. Those two items will fix about 90% of all problems - temporarily. Nice thing about duct tape, it can be reapplied to further the life of the object, which would now be deemed 'unsafe', so we can continue to save our pennies for our next disposable purchase. That just gave me an idea! To preserve my 'priceless' t-shirt, a duct taped, horizontal stripe may be the solution!