Free Therapy

Ok, just lie back and tell me all about it. I'm not really a therapist, but let me prescribe something for you. Everyone has problems or issues to deal with. Occasionally, we all need someone to talk, cry, or vent to. It appears I would be that person. Guess that's part of being a friend. When you take on the role of becoming a chum, a pal, a sidekick, amateur therapist comes along with the territory. Sadly, some folks don't have too many friends, so they rely on their hairdresser, barber, or bartender. I guess people find me approachable. Outside of my wife, I'm not sure who my free therapist is. I come home from work and unload a whole days worth circus activities performed by clowns, posing as normal people. I don't blow until she asks me though. Of course, my advice is always free to family, friends, and strangers (I think that covers everyone), but, I just hope someday when I come calling for free advice, it's without strings attached. At the time I spew forth my limited knowledge of various subjects, the advice I give seems rather sound... to me anyway. So even if I give advice that doesn't turn out so well for the patient, please keep in mind, it was free. What do you expect for free? And, I'm not licensed with a degree to treat people with mental or emotional problems. So consider the source. I WILL have a couple of beers with you though. That always seems to help me formulate 'reasonable' answers to your problems.

Where Did It Go?

Monday is the first of September. That means YOUR 2009 year is three quarters of the way through, in the history books. I personally love fall - it's my favorite time of the year, but summer never really happened. There were a couple of hot days, but not the type of day you could fry an egg on the sidewalk. August should be one of the most miserable months here in the great plains, and I rather enjoyed it. I really have no complaints, other than not being able to complain about the weather. So far, this year has been a year of unrest. The economy is trying to jump start itself, the public is a bit skeptical, not pushing the button on the defibrillator, banks are greedy, whiny, spoiled little brats, withholding our money from the public, to help out average joe, car makers are vying for the 'bottom of the barrel' award, celebrities and politicians are dropping like flies, and I have started a blog. What is going on! So, we have roughly 3 - 4 more months to figure this out, so our 2010 (start of a new decade) gets shoved out of the nest, with feathers on it's wings, to attempt flight. Perhaps summer will decide to arrive in this time frame. Highly unlikely, but the way things are going lately, who knows? My accomplishments for 2009 were nothing to really brag about. Outside of a couple of medical bills and some back taxes, I didn't create any new debt. So I felt I did my part to stagnate the economy. All year long, I kept thinking, "Once I get over this hump", but my personal 'hump' appears to be coated with butter, and I'm barefoot. So my three quarters of the year have been spent regaining my footing. I'm hoping to reach the pinnacle of my buttered hump by the end of this year, so I can start fresh next year... with a new, lower cholesterol butter alternative hump. You know, I'm not getting any younger, I've got to be careful what I put my foot in! My personal goal for the next year, and following year, is to pay down, or off my revolving debt. I would love to just have a house payment and utilities. This way, I could pay for future purchases outright. I know I'm not doing my part to stimulate the economy now, but in the future I'll be helping out. Debt is the problem with the current state of affairs for most individuals. By paying off that debt, and becoming freed up financially, we all will be able to breathe a little easier, and the banks will be begging us to take a loan out. Instead of creditors calling us for a late payment, beggars will be calling us for an interest free loan. So maybe we have to adjust our thinking, finish out 2009 going forward, and completely change the complexion of 2010. It's going to be here sooner than you realize! Maybe summer will tag along.

Naughty Words

We try, as parents, to teach our children to use proper English. When they say 'aint', we tell them, 'is not'. Then there's the foul language. This is strictly off limits! Of course, adults occasionally slip up and let a few sentence enhancers color their speech, but children using foul language, especially when they know what they're saying, is really very sad. For some reason, kids seem to figure out these words on their own. My wife and I are very conscious about what we say around our children, and for some unknown reason, they still pick it up around the age of 4 or 5. I guess this way they're ready to start school. If you stop and think about it though, who first decided these words were bad? What determined a particular word meant what it means today? Has it always meant that? Why couldn't the word 'damn', mean pony or rainbow? Who determines these things? Then there's the F word. Don't worry, I have control of my keyboard. I won't let that one slip. If you've seen me type, there's no way I could accidentally type that word and not know what I'm typing. The history of that word is unclear. Some think it's one those..... ACRONYMS that I soooo love, describing a law concerning rape. Many languages, centuries ago, had similar words describing basically the same thing. So in conclusion, it's still a good idea to teach our children right from wrong, even though they're going to learn anyways. It probably helps train their conscience. And please be careful when learning a new language. You don't want to make your waitress blush when ordering 'F'rench 'F'ries.

Human Contact

As much as a man would hate to admit it, everyone needs human contact. Even aliens! Lately, I've wanted to be by myself. I'm not irritable, or PMSing, or anything like that. Just some time to myself. I haven't wanted to blog or even get the mail (mailbox or computer). I've had conversations out of necessity or politeness, but I didn't feel the need to talk to anyone, talk about anyone, have anyone talk to me, have anyone talk about me, just a little me time. Solitary confinement even sounded a little appealing. But I have quickly come to the realization that folks aren't going to leave me alone. So the most effective way to ward off the, what seems to be constant pestering, is to 'answer' them. I've tried to limit my words though. I think I can answer that question in eight words. That question is completely illogical (retarded), should I waste my allotted words for the day, or just smile and walk away? I will say, I am coming out of my cocoon. No one has received a good old fashioned scolding lately. It may be time to employ some words and add a little volume. It's funny how that works - I speak rather harshly and loud, then nobody wants to talk to me. Quiet Kevin gets blah, blah, blah, - talkative, colorful vocabulary gets silence. Well, it's about time to bring this rambling to an end, and go convey my pent up thoughts to "everyone one I meet, while walking down the street". I figured a quote from Sesame Street should put me in the right frame of mind!

Oh, Wise Guy, Eh?

I know it's rather irritating when having to deal with somebody giving you a bad time, but when it's your turn to dish out the stuff, it sure is amusing! Today, I'm strolling through Menards, trying to 'save more money at Menards', and as I'm walking by an employee, he appeared rather puzzled, as if he were looking for something. The urge to be a smart ass overcame me and I opened my mouth to give him a zinger. I asked, "Can I help you find something today"? Then I chuckled and he found it amusing also. My intentions were for a laugh, not to be mean, and I accomplished what I meant to. When those moments flash in front of you, you have to seize them, otherwise you've missed a golden opportunity!

Family Reunion 2009

Well, another year camping with family is in the history books. Weather was amazing. I hope everybody got outside and did something over the weekend. Just too beautiful to sit indoors, behind a computer, wasting time:) I wish we all had more time together, but back to the harsh reality. I'm pretty sure the kids had a good time. We were the first to arrive, and when the rest of the traveling nomads arrived, the kids found each other, took a couple of seconds to reconnect, and were GONE! They resurfaced a few times when their little bellies caught up with the rest of their perpetual motion bodies, to refuel for another round of running, climbing, laughing, screaming, whatever happened to be the 'fun' thing to do at the time. Pretty sure the adults were enjoying themselves also. Soon after getting camp set, we nonchalantly started to consume park contraband. We drank beer. And a healthy portion at that! Beer seems to help big people relax and put the stresses of life away for awhile. Saturday was a fun filled day. One of my cousin's longtime friend came out to enjoy our controlled chaos and share in the madness. After supper, we had an awards ceremony with different categories. I assigned myself sole judge of the awards, and I tried to include every family in on the awards. There were ten categories, so someone was not going to win, but there were parting consolation prizes for everyone who happens to claim to be attached to the family. I was surprised at how well this event was supported. I thought everyone would just be nice and humor the cousin that thinks this is a good idea, but it appeared to be enjoyed, especially by the young uns'. We handed out little gag gifts along with some candy at the end. Two of the kids were so excited about winning, they bombarded me with new categories for next year's award show, for the rest of the evening. Of course, the categories were things they would apparently win, hands down. Those two tied for the "dirtiest and grubbiest camper" award, and were so thrilled when they received their prize, consisting of a bar of soap and wash cloth. The following day, they were going to make sure they sealed the deal, by telling me they were going to get dirty again today. Oh, I almost forgot one of the most memorable events. My youngest cousin and I, outlasted the rest of the family that night, and stayed up well past our bedtime, sitting around the fire, sipping our contraband, and catching up. Mid conversation, I happen to catch some movement under the picnic table, about ten feet away. At first, it looked like a small dog, but upon further examination, it happens to be a skunk! We tried shooing him, and that didn't really work. I picked up a beer can and tossed it next to him, thinking that would scare him away. No, that just put him on alert, with his tail in the air. We all know what that means! He then moseyed on over to a bag of trash laying on the ground, crawled inside, enjoyed a little family reunion food, and then wandered off. I hope the peppers gave him heartburn, as it did me. I just want to know who invited him. I am pleased to see my family partake of the reunion event. In a stressful economic time, this is a cheap form of entertainment for all. I hope all look forward to next year. See ya campers!

See Ya!

I'm working half a day, then off to the great outdoors! We'll be back after another word from our sponsor.