Murphy's Law

What can go wrong, will go wrong. Such optimism on the part of Mr. Murphy. Who was Murphy? Who appointed him lawmaker of misfortune? Apparently Mr. Murphy was involved in aeronautics back in the 1930's, when he came across a mistake in wiring during an experiment of deceleration. He said, "If there's anyway of doing it wrong, he'll find it"! Thus the law of Murphy was established. There is also a mathematical solution to Murphy's Law. It is as follows: 1 + 1 -> 2. The symbol, ->, means, 'hardly ever'. So the statement is, 1 + 1 is hardly ever 2. The solution just can't be that easy. Things don't always add up. No doubt many of us have experienced the hardships associated with Murphy's Law. The one day you don't take an umbrella, it pours buckets out of the sky. So occasionally we break the law of Murphy, and are punished to the letter of the law. Some of us are habitual Murphy's lawbreakers, while others seem to have Murphy's Law figured out, and stay one step ahead of the law. It would seem sometimes circumstances are beyond our control, the moon and the planets are out of alignment, and we happen to be standing under a tree with a bird in it, wearing our favorite shirt. We're not even looking for trouble, it just happens to pull our name out of a hat, and we're the Murphy's Law lottery winner for the day. If it strikes early in the day, it's almost impossible to escape further recurrences for the remainder of the day. At those moments, we should consider whether to struggle thru every second of every minute, or turn around and go back to bed. Here's a pared down list of Murphy's Laws. Enjoy.
1. Nothing is as easy as it looks.
2. Everything takes longer than you think.
3. Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
4. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.
5. If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
6. If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
7. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
8. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
9. Nature always sides with the hidden law.
10. Mother nature is a bitch.
11. It is impossible to make anything foolproof because the fools are so ingenious.
12. Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
13. Every solution breeds new problems.
And finally, Murphy's Philosophy: Smile... tomorrow will be worse:)

Head West Young Man!

Either tonight after work, or early tomorrow morning, I'll be going to western Nebraska to work on a Kingdom Hall. Sydney to be exact. Hopefully work finishes a little early and I can get out of Dodge sooner. Murphy's law, I probably will end up with a ten hour day. I have at least one person going with, so I won't be sleeping behind the wheel. He's a pretty good road trip compadre, so I won't have to listen to country music, or listening to whining about not listening to country music. We should only be there two days. The first day, we set tile right on the open slab of concrete. There are no walls yet, so the walls are laid out and chalked in so we know where to stop and start our tile. The next day grout, turn around and head back down the hill to Omaha. We set the tile a week or two before the actual build, because when you set a piece of tile, you can't walk on it for eight hours minimum. This building is going to be constructed in three to four days, completely finished, all the way down to the sod in the yard. This is why we set tile beforehand, because there's not eight hours to burn. I used to keep track of how many projects I've worked on, but I have lost count. I was at 37, I'm probably around 42 or 43 now. I've been all over the midwest and have seen some beautiful country, and have met some great people. I've worked in Missouri, Iowa, South Dakota, and obviously Nebraska. All work is volunteer, to help keep the cost down, so our friends in other locations are not strapped with a mortgage they can't afford, or so they can enjoy a new meeting place that they could not otherwise afford. Some of the more memorable ones are Rapid City, SD, the most fun. Spearfish, SD, the most scenic. Gregory, SD, the best tasting water. Shenandoah, IA, my first one. Lincoln, grouting in the rain. Harlan, IA, staying awake for thirty hours straight. North Omaha, the biggest. Vermillion, SD, the hottest weekend. I'm sure there's something I could probably remember from each one if I sat down and thought about it long enough. Well, time to pack up the mules, and head west west young man! Tell ma I'll write,...... or rather 'blog'.

Omaha

I just finished watching an episode of Anthony Bourdain - No Reservations. He's a New Yorker, and this episode he sought out the delicacies of his surrounding neighborhoods. Which got me thinking, how well do I know my hometown? How about the outlying suburbs? I've lived in south O (otherwise known as "God's country') for 19 years now. South O I'm pretty familiar with. I grew up in northwest Omaha and the Benson area. I know my way around fairly well. I've worked construction since graduating from high school, so I'm in west O quite a bit. I'm one of those people who familiarizes areas with landmarks - usually food related. I try to seek out the little mom n pop places, greasy spoons, hole in the wall, non chain restaurants. Iknow which neighborhoods are safe and which ones to keep on driving. I'm somewhat self educated on Omaha history. I feel I have a well rounded knowledge of my hometown. My current stomping grounds are chock full of decent restaurants. Some even know me by name. Of course, I have my favorites. If you're on 20th & U St., there's Sam's Mexican Deli, 18th & Vinton, my personal favorite, Louie M's Burger Lust, 33rd St between L and Q is Guaca Maya. At 38th & Center is Greek Islands. Then there is the Old Market area. Jazz for cajun, Upstream Brewery (self explanatory), haven't eaten at Vivace's in awhile, but I had good meals there. A couple of midtown favorites are the Dundee Dell for fish n chips, and Amsterdam Falafel & Kabob, both at 50th & Underwood. Sortino's Pizza is my choice for pizza, Big Fred's is a close second. I live extremely close to Lo Sole Mio's. Espana in downtown Benson is an experience worth going for. Bianca's on 132nd & Maple was amazing! I'm a little disillusioned with west O, because it has been overrun with sparkling new chain restaurants. A couple of the chains are OK, but I prefer the smaller, more intimate setting. One area of town that could use a decent non chain diner, is Irvington. My shop is located there, and pickings are slim. I even have a couple of spots in Lincoln. M&N Sandwich Shop and Yia Yia's Pizza are worth honorable mention. There's many others I haven't mentioned, but all you have to do is talk to folks, and they'll be happy to brag about a restaurant they're proud of and consider their own. Then you've found a new destination and a fresh menu to satisfy your appetite for Omaha.

German For a Day!

Attended my fourth annual Octoberfest over the weekend. It was a smashing success. I consumed the highly touted, long awaited, Warsteiner Octoberfest beer. It just so happens, September is the time they tap the first keg of octoberfest. So Octoberfest celebration is for the tapping of the kegs, it has nothing to do with the month of October. I don't make the rules, I just go along with them. It is one of the most festive celebrations I've been to. There are several Octoberfests throughout the month of September, in various locations. I've been to a couple of different ones, but the best is at the German American Society. It's by far the largest one in Omaha. Four years ago, my friend, Ben, and his family, introduced us to Octoberfest. They, being true Germans, have been attending for years. Last Octoberfest was their last 'hurrah' for Omaha, since they all moved to Arizona. Last year was definitely bittersweet. I felt the need to join them to properly send them off to the desert, because they were leaving two weeks afterward. I wasn't sure how this year's festival was going to feel, for this was my first festival without them. It felt a little like the first day of kindergarten (hey, a German word). Not sure what to expect, will I make friends, will my teacher be nice, am I going to cry and miss my mom, will the beer still taste the same, so many unknowns. Fortunately, I invited a few friends, who have never been. This was their maiden voyage. They're a fun loving group, most of the time, so I figured if we mix that with a little bit of draft, this could be a jolly good time. I felt, by the evenings end, everyone enjoyed themselves, especially the children. How could you not enjoy yourself. You have heavy German beer, laden with calories, heavy German food, laden with calories, heavy German women dressed in old world German garb, laden with calories, and polka music! My oldest daughter mentioned this is, by far, the best activity we do together, as a family, all year. She now looks forward to joining in the festivities a whole year in advance. We've already marked it on our calendar for next year.

I'm Seeing Red!

Not because I'm in Huskerland euphoria, no, I think you know why! So many things went wrong on Saturday, the Huskers just couldn't ascend the mountain they built for themselves. I really get tired of seeing Nebraska spot a team seven points within the first 3 minutes of a game. I feel we should elect to receive the ball on opening kickoff, rather than defend. May be the other team will spot us seven. The officiating seemed a tad bit ridiculous. Unfortunately, they were Big XII officials. Maybe they too will improve as the season progresses. One play I don't completely understand. Maybe someone out there, other than a Hokie, can help me see what the officials apparently didn't see. Menelik Holt caught a pass in the end zone, both feet in, fell out of bounds and fumbled when he hit the ground. It appeared to me he had possession, and when he fumbled, the ground actually caused the fumble. I have been under the assumption for quite a few years now, that the ground cannot cause a fumble. Am I in the wrong here? Was I confusing my lacrosse rules with football rules? To top it off, that play did not even come under review. The Huskers just seem to be too nice. Nebraska has a way of bringing out the best in other teams. They're the motivational speaker that gets you worked up in a frenzy to go conquer what lies before you. I say, "Enough Mr. Niceguy". With all the road work going on in this state, there has to be a spare steamroller somewhere. Playing another pud team this week is not going to prove anything. It's like you got beat up by your big sister, and now you're going to go take it out on the pipsqueak next door, who happens to be five years younger. I sure hope Bo is there helmets all week at practice. Maybe as the week progresses, I'll simmer down a bit from red to a paler shade of pink. That's it! Hand out pink shirts instead of black shirts. The harder you work and prove you're ready to perform, you get to shed the pink for black! It's a good thing I'm not coach, I'd probably have a dozen players meeting me out in the alley, stuffing pink jerseys where jerseys aren't supposed to be worn. Either way, I'm whining until we can defeat a top 20 team soundly. See you Saturday!

Pillow Fight

My wife and I have this ongoing spat over the pillow arrangement on our bed. First of all, we each have more pillows than heads. I have three pillows, one for each head, and she has three pillows for just one head. A few times a week, the pillows seem to migrate to my side of the bed, making it lopsided and no longer symmetrical. Now as a man, I know other men out there are no different than me, I'm not particularly aware of my surroundings until it smacks me in the face. So when I go to bed, I don't stop to take 'pillow roll call', to see whose defected to my side. I shut the light off, turn around three times, and close my eyes. Many times I'm in bed before my wife. She's somewhat of a night owl, staying up cleaning, watching something on TV, reading, Facebooking, etc., etc. So when she comes to bed, there's a good chance I'm already asleep. Before she gets in though, she takes count of how many pillows I have, and how many she has. Keep in mind, I'm always the first out of bed in the morning, so during the course of the day, somehow a pillow sneaks its way to my side. Next thing I know, a pillow is being yanked from underneath my head, and dropping to the next level of pillow. Of course this awakens me, which, once I figure out what's happening, puts me in the greatest of moods. So last night was another pillow fight, and I told her "this is going to make for good blog material". She kind of gave me that evil chuckle as if I were crossing the line, and could possibly receive retaliation from the mafia. "No, please don't kill my dog", I pleaded. Oh, and I was not to mention the Jupiterlike noxious gas that floated out from under the covers, like a London fog. So consider that unmentionable. I know she's going to read this and I'm going to be in deep. Heads up hon, I drooled on your pillow and now you have Kevin germs;)

Beware!

My daughter turned 15 yesterday. Yes, much like when milk goes bad, she turned. She has been studying the driver's manuel day and night, with the objective of obtaining a driver's permit the very second she turned. Now that she's 15, she feels she is not only capable of driving an automobile, but she also wants to own one. Please keep in mind, this is a girl who has about $50 to her name, and no job. So those qualifications entitle her to whatever she desires. Spoiled brat! So her legal guardians have not bowed down to her unrealistic expectations, thus leading to the accusation, in her mind, of child abuse. At the time I turned 15, within about two weeks, I did obtain a driver's permit. When I turned 16, I was allowed to get my license for a couple of reasons. First, I had a part time job. I paid for insurance, gas , repairs, and the car I bought was a 1969 VW Beetle with no heat, for $150. I had saved about $800 prior to buying my car, but I didn't get my car for about 3 months after I turned 16. Second, I was living with my grandparents at the time, because my mother's life was going down the toilet, and I needed a way to and from school. Allowing me to drive solved a couple of different issues. My daughter, the spoiled 'princess', feels we are denying her of god given rights, by making her show us a measure of responsibility, by completing a certain percentage of her school work, prior to acquiring a permit. Once she has the permit though, driving is still going to be limited due to the fact a parent has to accompany her. We're not going everywhere she feels the urgent need to be somewhere to be seen. There are going to be occasions where I insist on driving rather than her. I have a feeling, the next couple of years are going to be filled with utter disappointment, because the 'princess' can't do or have everything at the snap of her fingers. Little does she realize, a REAL princess is always chauffeured.