The First Grand Daughter

Ahhh Michelle.... the oldest female grandchild. It must have been a sigh of relief for the whole family when a girl arrived, after having two hellish imps join the family. Unlike the rest of us, you never did anything too outrageously stupid (or at least I'm aware of), while you were younger. I do remember though, you were probably in about the third grade, and every morning seemed to be a knock down drag out with your mom about various subjects. One of the funniest, you were arguing before school about your hair. You must have been having a bad hair day, and it was your mom's fault. Another one of your childhood complaints involved the kids that lived at the bottom of the hill. I don't know which one of the Wenninghoffs, in particular, irked the hell out of you, but that was a daily topic for discussion. Then the teenage years arrived, and whoa! We won't relate anything incriminating, but there was one time where I almost got you in hot water, and I wasn't even aware that I was doing it. One night, you were out with Jen (at least that's the story), and you called around eleven o'clock to tell Grandma you weren't coming home, but spending the night at Jen's. Julie and I were dating at the time, and she was over watching a movie with me. Typical of me, put me in front of a TV, and count the minutes before I dose off. Remind you of another male member of the family? So the phone rings, Julie wakes me from apparently a rather deep sleep, and hands me the phone. Please keep in mind, I don't remember any of this. We proceed to have this conversation where you tell me to relay the information to Grandma, about spending the night at Jen's. I guess my response was coherent, because Julie didn't question anything I happened to say to you. I hung up the phone and went back to stage four deep sleep. The next morning, our grandparents are in a panic because you didn't come home last night, and you were in big trouble for not calling. I, of course, was siding with the hysterical grandparents, thinking, "Boy is she gonna get it when she gets home"! Julie chimed in, in behalf of your defense, and notified the grandparents of the truth. Another page in your life came when it was time for you to get a car. I couldn't believe my eyes when you bought, close to the ugliest car on the face of the earth - the Gremlin! Then there was the Datsun Grandpa fixed up for you. I remember him installing the motor one day. He just picked it up, and set it in the car. I thought he would certainly need some help. He then told me it was about as heavy as a sewing machine. He said the slower this car went, the less likely you were to get yourself in trouble. Only if staying out of trouble were that simple.