Facial Hair

This is usually a very disturbing topic for women, but men can have some real fun with it. I am a fan of facial hair, and I'm not a fan of facial hair. It looks good on some people (always men), but not all guys (including myself) look good with a lot scruff. I have no problem growing a beard. It comes in fast and furious! My drawback is, it itches so bad you would swear I need a flea dip. I haven't grown a full beard since before I was married. I had it for about a month and a half, and during that time it was pure torture. Besides the constant scratching, a woman asked me if I was Iranian. That's the last thing I wanted to deal with, was a hostile, pro-US lynch mob, stringing me up by my toes because I'm able to grow facial hair. So my one and only experience with a beard was not a positive one. Since then, I've gone probably four or five days at a time without shaving, and its definitely bristly enough to scrub the leftovers off your iron pans. Another observation I've made over the years, when I let me beard go for a few more hours than I should have, there's quite a bit of gray coming in along my jawline. I'm normally not a vain person, but my gray beard definitely makes me look older than I really am, or am willing to admit:) I still like to incorporate some strategically placed facial hair for the personal affect it has on my self image. I don't like to have the latest trend, but I have my own style, which conforms to really nobody, but me individually. I think mutton chops are amazingly creative, but I insist on toning it down quite a bit, and am OK with just some nicely defined sideburns. I like the idea of a soul patch (the little spot of hair just under the bottom lip), but sometimes I'm a bit self conscious, thinking this probably looks like a middle aged guy trying too hard to look cool, when it may come off as kind of creepy. Occasionally, I let grow for a couple of days before I get the weed whacker out, and it comes off. A mustache by itself is totally out of the question! Tom Selleck, and every 1980's porn star, were the only ones to pull this off successfully. Not sure if 'successfully' is the right word, but you know what I mean. The quandary I find myself in though, is the extremely clean feeling I have after taking the time to actually shave. The smooth skin with no steel wool growing out of your face, is a very pleasing feeling, and I've been clean shaven for so many years now. I'm pretty sure the authorities, and my family, would put out a missing persons bulletin on me if I chose to grow a beard again. To top that off, somebody's going to mistake me for Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's brother.