Hope You're Not That Person!

Seems there one in every circle of friends. There's always somebody who comes into a conversation halfway thru and gets only the part of the conversation that California fires are started with. This is how rumors get going. It's kind of fun to actually let them go for awhile instead of squelching them from the start. Next thing you know, you're involved with a much older woman who really isn't a woman and she turns out to be pregnant but she can't be pregnant because she's really a man and the baby isn't yours at least one of the twins isn't yours and he snuck into the country after assassinating the dictator of a third world planet! See, wasn't that fun and exciting? Now who can I forward this to?:)

Mushrooms

I'm going camping this weekend. I'm not saying where, because I'm planning on giving my hand at hunting for morels. I've never actually found any, so I'm not holding my breath. And I'm aware that I am competing against the deer and all those greedy bastards that started hunting last week. I'm sure they've put a hurtin' on the supply. What really peeves me is when you see them parked on the side of the road selling their booty for $17.95/lb. I've only had morels twice in my life and I'm 43 now. Each time I got 1 mushroom - barely a taste! I'm extremely overdue. And I have a daughter who loves mushrooms and I would be thrilled if she could try one for the first time. So all you greedy hoarders of the highly coveted little fungi, YOU BETTER SAVE SOME FOR ME! If I don't find a mother lode, then I'll just stop this year and begrudgingly pay you your extortion money. If I new how to stick my tongue out with words, I would be doing that right now! I hope you accidentally eat a slug. See you in the forest:)

Friends

Friends are important. Some say they can do without friends and they probably can. These "friendless" people are not risk takers and lead boring lives. Friendship itself is a risk. How do you know your new friend isn't an axe murderer or a Republican? You really need people in your life to help you take risks or to talk them into the risk to see what happens. Friends will help get you into trouble and good friends will help get you back out. If you don't have friends, how will you years later, sit around and tell stories unless you had somebody there to go through it with you? You start off saying, 'Remember the time...?', and next thing you know, you're both laughing so hard you can't finish the story! If nobody was around to to document your stupidity, nobody would believe your stories. So make friends, make things happen, and blog about it. Cheers!

Cool

Watched a movie tonight set in the 80's. All I can say is "WOW"! I'm speechless! I was cool in the 80's, but the 80's weren't cool. I'm happy I lived through them. It's kind of nice having the memories and the fact that I was there, I can give a firsthand account to my children. I think it's rather humorous to see some of the styles making their way back into department stores. There are things that my children want to buy and when I tell them I had one or wore one, they look at me as if I would be an absolute embarrassment to myself and them if I were dressed in such a thing now. For instance, Members Only jackets. The company has made a comeback and the jackets are as popular now as they were then. The only reason I wouldn't wear one now is that they cost $50 more than they did then:) Same story with Vans. You can actually go to their website and build your own. Expensive! It would still be fun to resurrect the old look. Hawaiian shirt, 501 jeans, Members Only jacket, Vans (no socks), eating pop rocks while playing space invaders, and getting my groove on to some Cheap Trick! What am thinking! Better get me something to drink to bring me back to reality. Does anybody have a Bartles & Jaymes or mix me a fuzzy navel? 

Mondays

Yes, that's right , it's Monday again. There seems to be one every week. I think only people who cut hair actually enjoy Mondays, because they get the day off. Everyone else dreads it for the fact it's the beginning of another week of forced labor. Even the name "Monday" does NOT stir up excitement. Maybe it's the way you say it. Take your fingers and put them at each corner of your mouth and push up. Now, think about puppies, or unicorns, or '67 Pontiac GTO's, and then say "Monday". Did that make a difference? Yeah, me either. I guess that's why happy hour was created.

Snakes!

Saw my first garter snake yesterday. My wife called while I was on my way home for lunch, somewhat freaked out about all the garter snakes invading her personal comfort zone. Ever since last spring, she's not a big fan of snakes. Oh, I haven't told you that story yet! One beautiful, sunny spring morning, she's walking to the patio with a cup of coffee and a good book (sounds like a relaxing and tranquil moment), and she hears a rustling in the tree above her. She looks up to see a bird directly above her head. As she was looking up, she heard a PLOP right in front of her. Immediately she thought the bird had pooped in her coffee. She takes a moment to stop and examine her coffee cup to see if she had any extra condiments floating, when she notice a snake wriggling at her feet! The bird was attempting to eat the snake and, well, you can figure out the rest. Now, I personally haven't tried coffee with snake in it, but I'm sure there's a Starbucks somewhere in the world where you might be able to try this. So back to my story. I came home and, being the Conquerer of evil and Defender of all that is good, bought snake repellent, that's right, snake repellent, and sprinkled it in a few strategic areas where we've seen snakes, or snakes might be seen, or where snakes think they might like to visit. Regardless, my duty as a superhero is just beginning for the year. But armed with my trusty shovel and my new snake repellent, I'm ready to defend my little plot of land from the evil critters of South Omaha!

Level?

Had a discussion today at work about "level". With most construction projects, you try to make your work as level as possible. Sometimes it's impossible depending on prior circumstances. In that case, you try to make it "flat". Now "flat" and "level" are 2 different things. "Flat" can be out of level, but "level" has to be flat. Seems "flat" can do whatever it wants, but "level" is held to certain physical laws of the universe that it's not allowed to break. Now it was explained to me that "level" has to be parallel with the horizon, and that water seeks its own level. Think about this. If the earth is round, can we actually make something "level"? If water seeks its own level, why does it follow the curve of the earth? I'm sure there's some scientific remedy involving gravity and the tensile strength of water and blah, blah, blah. But if I have one leg shorter than the other, this is all a bunch of hooey, and I'm all in favor of "flat"!