Bait

Last night, we were invited to go with some friends to Blue Sushi. It was a fun crowd, so I obliged. Now, I'm not much for the raw seafood scene, so I was a little apprehensive about putting anything in my mouth. When it comes to sushi, I'm a novice. I don't know what to order, what's raw, what's cooked, what's claimed to be cooked, but tastes raw, I just don't know. So I put the life of my tastebuds in the hands of friends. They were good sports about it, but on the other hand, I didn't want to appear to be a sissy about it either. We started off with calamari appetizer. I loved cooked seafood, especially when battered and fried. So I ate my fair share of that, because I knew when the 'bait' arrived, I would struggle with getting it down. We also had some lettuce wraps and chicken on a stick (mainly for the kids). I think there was an underlying reason for the chicken skewers, just in case Kevin wussed out, they still wanted me to be able to keep my strength up. By the time appetizers were ordered, I think everyone at the table knew my, not so long history with sushi. Unfortunately, this drew a certain amount of attention and expectation from my dining comrades. I think they may have been taking bets under the table. There's a 12 to 1 shot he will gag, and spit it out in his napkin. Finally the plateful of 'cooked, but tastes raw', morsels arrive. Everyone at my end of the table are encouraging me to "dig in"! Just a side point, they look so beautifully prepared, in my mind they should be out of this world. On the flip side, they look so beautifully prepared, can't we just sit and look at them, like a piece of art? So I finally got my nerve up to try 2 different types. One had shrimp, the other, not quite sure what it was. I love shrimp, so I thought this would be a breeze. Now, I know I probably psyched myself out, but I had a strategy. Put it in my mouth, chew no more than three times, swallow, chase with a huge swig of beer. By the way, I ordered Guinness. I figured it to be the direct opposite in taste, so that would help disguise what I was about to do. Well, I got the first one down, barely! Then my coaches told me to try it with wasabi and soy sauce. What a revelation! So I cleared my palate with a half a glass of beer and my shirt sleeve, and tried it again. Second time went smoother with the help of the wasabi/soy sauce concoction, but after my 'big gulp' of beer, I was catching a hint of raw fish aftertaste, which happens to taste just as bad as tasting it originally. I tried one more time, with more wasabi and soy, thinking if I totally immersed this piece of 'whatever it was', chewed only twice, chase with beer, water, and lemon, that might be the recipe for me to join the elite group of sushi diners. Nope, still got the lingering taste of 'nasty', and knew that I should stop before I become the 'not so pleasant dining guest'. I have the same problem with liver. It hits a certain point in the back of my mouth, and I involuntarily gag. I was starting to feel that reflex, and I knew that I've reached my limit. This was my personal episode of Bizarre Foods, with Andrew Zimmer laughing at me behind the scenes. So I've promised my wife we would go back, because she has no problem with eating cat food. I will probably order myself a big bucket of those calamari and a beer. I could probably do sushi if I were the one preparing it. A nice beer batter, deep fry for a couple of minutes, serve hot with some Trappey's sauce, hushpuppies, and beer. Top it off with a wasabi after dinner mint.