Ms. Incognito

Ahhh Samantha... Sam, Sam, Sam. Once again, another 'Sam', this time the female version. You were always around, but never really in the mix of chaos, like the rest of the neighborhood kids. Outside of your brother, I never remember you getting into a fight with anyone. If fact, you seemed to make friends with opposing sides. You were the mediator, the common denominator, friend to all. There must have been one instance though, where you upset Keith and myself for some unknown reason. What that reason is, I couldn't tell you. But, you had this huge Barbie townhouse thing, that had an elevator, and all the latest amenities. Who knows, you may have done nothing to us, and Keith and I were just being cruel. I'm sure there was a 'logical' reason for our stupid act of unkindness. We found some red crayons, or paint, or markers, or lipstick, something RED, and proceeded to cover every last square inch of your townhouse with RED. I just remember while engaged in my act of malicious graffiti, I'm thinking, "We sure are getting even with her"! After the crime was done, that feeling soon changed to a feeling of 'dread', because you were going to show your parents what happened to your Barbie townhouse, and they were going to deduce the crime to either Keith, myself, or both. After all, who else was capable of such a moronic crime? There was no possible way we could hide this thing - it was the size of a small piece of furniture, and it wasn't a toy you were done playing with, because it was fairly new. I guess we were smart enough to not lie about the fact, but we still paid dearly. Sitting on anything for a whole week, was torture in itself. Let's now change directions. There was one occasion where you were finally getting some retribution on your brother. His greatest possession in all the earth, was his dirt bike. One day, you hopped on his bike and was riding in front of your house. Of course this did not sit well with him. In his mind, this was equivalent to destroying someone's Barbie townhouse. He came running outside to physically remove you from the seat of his bike, but you would start pedaling faster to get away. This cat and mouse game went on for quite a few passes in front of the house. Your brother was getting rather frustrated that you were compiling miles on HIS bike, so he formulated a plan. He went inside and grabbed a blanket. He was going to throw the blanket over head as you rode by. He figured you would have to slow down enough to get the blanket off, and this would give him ample opportunity to catch you and evict you from his prized possession. His plan worked better than expected. He threw the blanket in front of you as you were speeding by, the blanket actually got caught in the front forks, stopped instantly, and launched you over the handlebars! Amazingly enough, you were able to avoid losing your front teeth, unlike your younger brother. I don't remember any real injury out of the incident, except for some loss of wind, and maybe a little road rash. But once you got your composure back, you immediately lost it again on Keith. I'm sure there are many more stories (some involving Keith), but those are definitely the ones that are burned into my memory. By the way, I found a Barbie townhouse on Ebay, maybe I can talk Keith into going halves.