Pillow Fight

My wife and I have this ongoing spat over the pillow arrangement on our bed. First of all, we each have more pillows than heads. I have three pillows, one for each head, and she has three pillows for just one head. A few times a week, the pillows seem to migrate to my side of the bed, making it lopsided and no longer symmetrical. Now as a man, I know other men out there are no different than me, I'm not particularly aware of my surroundings until it smacks me in the face. So when I go to bed, I don't stop to take 'pillow roll call', to see whose defected to my side. I shut the light off, turn around three times, and close my eyes. Many times I'm in bed before my wife. She's somewhat of a night owl, staying up cleaning, watching something on TV, reading, Facebooking, etc., etc. So when she comes to bed, there's a good chance I'm already asleep. Before she gets in though, she takes count of how many pillows I have, and how many she has. Keep in mind, I'm always the first out of bed in the morning, so during the course of the day, somehow a pillow sneaks its way to my side. Next thing I know, a pillow is being yanked from underneath my head, and dropping to the next level of pillow. Of course this awakens me, which, once I figure out what's happening, puts me in the greatest of moods. So last night was another pillow fight, and I told her "this is going to make for good blog material". She kind of gave me that evil chuckle as if I were crossing the line, and could possibly receive retaliation from the mafia. "No, please don't kill my dog", I pleaded. Oh, and I was not to mention the Jupiterlike noxious gas that floated out from under the covers, like a London fog. So consider that unmentionable. I know she's going to read this and I'm going to be in deep. Heads up hon, I drooled on your pillow and now you have Kevin germs;)