Mysteriously Mysterious

I am the proud owner of a pair of work boots that I've owned for 2 years now! That has to be some kind of record for me. They're nice and broken in, comfortable to wear to work. But, I'm pretty sure within the next 4 - 6 months, I'll have to purchase new. It'll be a sad day when I have to throw those away and start breaking in a new pair. It's almost like potty training a new puppy. What's funny is, kids these days (mine included), think a worn pair of shoes is some form of chid abuse. They always want to get new shoes. But here's the mysterious part of this story. Over the years, I've had clothes that were worn to the point of extreme comfort. An old sweatshirt, a pair of bib overalls that I cut off to make them shorts, and various t-shirts with maybe a small hole or two, and one day they come up missing. Oh, I've asked around, but nobody seems to know anything about my clothes disappearing into thin air. I know my wife has nonchalantly helped them out the door, either to the Goodwill or to the landfill. I may have to resort to a lie detector test. I know she's looking out for my well being, and when I leave home, she doesn't want me mistaken for a homeless person, but I can reassure you that those clothes still had life left in them. All the crucial areas of interest were still covered. I'm not an exhibitionist. There may be an occasional plumber's crack, but nothing too offensive. If I was going to put on a show, clothes would not be a part of the wardrobe while I was jogging down the street! But, nonetheless, I can't get an answer as to where my clothes end up. I think she's afraid I'll go buy them back from the thrift, or flag down the garbage man. I guess there's a remote chance aliens took them. That would be awesome to know that the "Kevin" look was in vogue on another planet.